empathy <asheiji>

1. i hide my hurt

eiji's pov

I woke up with my book open faced down on my chest, as i had fallen asleep reading it.

It was a book recommended to me by Ash. Pretty advanced reading, even for me. Ash sure was smart. This book was probably like picture books for him...

I turned to my side. He wasn't on his bed, where his normally curled up form usually lay were tousled sheets and a pillow. My unfinished novel was the least of my concerns now.

Shhhhh.

Water. The sink. Ash?

The lights weren't even turned on. Enveloped by a lonely darkness, his brooding profile was bent over the sink, rubbing water into his face before staring at himself in the mirror, his mint green eyes reflecting some kind of deep pain.

I couldn't take it. This wasn't the first time this has happened. Ash wouldn't be mad if i talked to him, would he? steeling my resolve, i stepped into the bathroom and he met my gaze in the mirror, looking like he'd just done something wrong.

Ash was too young. Only 17, the perfect age to be frolicking with friends in high school. But i knew about his twisted past, the degenerates he had to deal with, the scumbags who used Ash like a tool. that moment, i could feel tears pricking my eyes. How unbelievably foolish, naive, dumb and lucky i was, able to live a peaceful, danger free life in Japan. How absolutely lucky.

Words couldn't come out of my mouth. This wasn't a situation for words, anyway. I tried my best to put on a welcoming, calming expression, to use body language to convey some sort of calming message - 'it's okay.'

Silently, Ash dropped his gaze and stepped out of the bathroom, his walk feeling heavy and muted, nothing like the confident stride of Ash Lynx, the young gang leader.

Putting my hand on his back, i spoke to him, as softly and as kindly as i could. "please come sit with me on the bed. " Platinum blond hair shifted as he nodded. I couldn't see what his expression was like right now, but i really hope im making him feel better..

Ash sat down and the mattress dipped under his weight, so I sat down closer to him and let him lean on me. Perhaps that was what he needed to most. Closeness to someone, and a patient ear to listen to him.

"talk to me." I tilted my head to look at my friend, whose normally unreadable expression revealed cracks of the more soft, sad side of Ash. Something cold suddenly hit my hand. tears!

"A-ash, it's okay.. calm down." i kept my panic at a minimum. The last thing ash needed was me fussing over him too much.

"It's alright. I'm fine," my friend wiped his tears away from his jade green eyes and smiled ever so slightly. "It was just some nightmares..." ash was straining himself now, holding his tears back.

<3rd person pov>

eiji's hand reached over to settle on the blond's shoulder, gripping it softly and soothingly. for whatever reason, the simple gesture made his tearducts go crazy, as if messages of calm and warmth could be transmitted through eiji's touch. what is wrong with me? why am i reacting like this?

"let it out, ash," the boy beside ash spoke softly, coaxing the lonely lynx to come out of his cave and speak his mind.

Wiping the last smears of salty tears away, ash composed himself. "I... I cant seem to forget."

"Prostitute, gang leader, murderer...... I'm...terrible."

"Don't say that about yourself..! You're not......"