Classified

Chapter 36 - "Does it look like I'm joking?"

Chapter where Carter kicks Donny's boo-tay!

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James' words gnawed at Donovan as he leaned against the set of lockers. Across from him was the proof of the statement. Link was deep in conversation with Maddy, their fingers brushing, meeting, linking. All around him students young, growing, developing were joking with each other, trying to find who they were in a sea of faces.

At sixteen Donovan had known exactly who he was. He had needed to know. At sixteen he wasn't a kid or even a teenager anymore, he was an adult sent to protect a secret in the form of a stubborn twelve-year-old. Since then Donovan had been waiting for the years when those around him wouldn't giggle at immature behavior. Waited for the time when a conversation with someone would feel real and not simply be a cover that he had to keep intact.

Though he had dealt with it fine for the past six years, Donovan now faced a frustration and weariness he never had before. Whether James' use of the term babysitter had been the thing that set off the emotions or not, he wasn't sure. All he was aware of the complete lack of maturity that he was entrenched in. Among the hundreds of people he interacted with each day, there was only one that meant something. And there was the heart of the problem. For that one person was a distraction.

As if taunting the thoughts he was trying to suppress again, Carter walked out of the crowd. He didn't look at her as she took the spot beside him. Despite the crowded hallway, he was aware of the fruity smell of her shampoo.

"Hey," she said, glancing at him.

Fearing what he might say if he spoke, he gave a single nod, but nothing else, his lips pressed together. A group of sophomore girls passed by and looked at him, their lips curved in bashful smiles. They whispered to each other and a second late a round of giggles swept over them. Though he kept his face blank, Donovan's jaw tightened. He wanted to punch something, get away from the flirty looks, coy smiles and all the gestures that said they saw exactly what he wanted them to see, a quiet, brooding guy. Someone he wished he didn't have to be anymore.

"How did it go with your brother this weekend?" she asked.

Like a blow, James' words about his job and about Carter hit him again.

"Fine."

He felt Carter's gaze but didn't meet it. He couldn't. Not today. Not when he was so aware of all the things about her that he liked, that he needed. In response, she crossed her arms.

"It was nice meeting him."

Donovan made no reply or any indication that he had even heard her. A frown formed on her forehead as she looked at him. A twist of guilt settled in his stomach at treating her so poorly, but he couldn't give in. As Carter opened her mouth, a petite, redheaded girl appeared before them. Without her heels, the girl wouldn't have come up even to Donovan's shoulder. To him, she looked like all the girls he had ever met, too young and searching for a connection with him that he would never give.

"Hi Donovan," she said giving him a sweet smile. "I don't know if you know this, but we have A.P. Lit together. I sit two seats over from you."

He knew this but didn't plan on telling her that. There was no point, it would be taken as a positive sign. The girl wasn't hindered by his silence. Instead, she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and gave him another smile.

"Look," she said. "I don't know if you had a partner for the project due this Thursday, I thought I would just ask-"

"I have a partner," he said, his voice toneless, trying not to let any of his irritation get poured out on the innocent girl.