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"The Simulation of Emotions to produce Virtual Beings, or SEVB, brought me here. But you already know that, don't you? And what did Doctor Zhao say our goal was?"
Annie clutches my cold hand in hers. "Resolve the conflict within us. But that's all I - you - know. Did you just walk in here blindly? You don't understand half of what is going on. How don't you feel lost, wandering into your own mind? And didn't he say that if you don't understand this, your mind will come undone? You memorised the information but you still don't understand, do you?"
I'm shocked at how confidently she speaks. If only she spoke like this all the time, not just towards people that she knows. I speak my mind. "You're right. I don't understand. I don't understand how I'm able to access my brain like this, how I'm speaking to my emotions that are in human form, how I'm not freaking out at this. But I'm doing this out of curiosity."
I want to be able to know what's going on inside my own head, why I feel and act the way I do. I want to know what emotions influence me, and how to control the influence. It's surreal how I've adopted the mind of an average human being and am speaking to my emotions, yes, but it's . . . exciting, in a sense. I can finally gain control of myself, and even if I die right here, right now, I'll still feel complete.
But there is a final part of me that needs to be taken care of.
I don't need to help Annie. She knows how to help herself. She can talk to strangers, she can maintain eye contact, she can genuinely laugh at jokes, and she can forgive and accept herself, but only if she allows herself to.
I stare at her. We don't realise how beautiful we are. We're hiding our face behind our weave and dressing in loose clothing to hide the body we're ashamed of. I don't know why I didn't think there was something wrong with that.
Who said there was a certain body type I should have? Who dictated what looked 'good' and what looked 'bad' on me? Who came up with the definition of beautiful? Because as far as I'm concerned, if you've got a beating heart, you're beautiful.
My cheeks are damp, which is strange. I can't even feel any emotions, neither happiness nor sadness. I can't feel myself crying, but I am. "Will you do that for me? Will you try? Will you ignore the assholes that go out of their way to upset people like you? Will you finally love yourself?"
Annie doesn't cry, but slowly fades away. "I will," she smiles beautifully.
"Your smile completes you. Don't forget," I say, and with a faint chuckle, the manifestation of my anxiety is gone. Maybe not forever, but just while I'm finding myself.
