Winter

18.

Marilyn

We drove for a long time. Over a day. Maybe 2. I don't remember. We barely stopped, except when one of us needed to sleep. I know we changed cars halfway through.

We were way out West. I woke up to the shine shining faintly in the windows. Bucky and I still haven't spoken much. But he looked more relaxed than before. His face was softer, his demeanor wasn't one of a bird ready to fly away. He instantly tensed up when he saw I woke up. " Oh. Good. We're in Wyoming, I think. 50 miles from an airport."

" Want me to drive?" I asked.

He shook his head, " It gives me something to focus on. The Casper airport has flights everywhere currently, so take your pick of Europe."

" What languages can you speak?"

" The better question is which ones I CAN'T speak. And the answer is Arabic. Not many missions needing me down there."

" Fine, who have you murdered in what countries, and which ones aren't gonna land you in a max security prison?"

He shrugged, " Poland it is for now."

***

The airport made me nervous. Anyone looking for us could be here right now, ready to take Bucky and cart me back to New York.

Bucky rolled his eyes, taking his hat off, putting it backwards on my head, and taking hold of my hand, " You're really bad at not looking suspicious."

" Tony Stark could have you killed before I could blink if he knows where we are."

" I've been looking around this airport for 20 minutes now. Not one person has even looked at us. Its all old people and families heading to Disney World. Now, young couples aren't suspicious when the girlfriend isn't in the verge of vomiting. Start acting."

That pep talk was so inspiring. Making my life SO much easier. But I did relax, looking happier, giving Bucky the occasional heart eyes. I knew he was just as nervous, even if his face was happy. His grip on my hand was pathetic. He was barely touching me. " The last person before you that I laid my hands on, I killed," He whispered, " Give me a break."

We bought our tickets to Warsaw, Poland, and waited for around 2 hours. Bucky and I both barely had anything, just carry ons. So we needed money to get more. We found an ATM, and he pulled a card out of a wallet, " They gave you a card?"

" They all go to the same account," He shrugged, " I have legal papers, but they told me it wasn't my name."

I looked at the card. " James Schmidt?" I laughed, " They kept your first name but used the last name of the guy I killed?"

" Its generic." He said harshly, " And right now James Schmidt is getting us access to a few million dollars."

" I guess HYDRA was good for one thing."

He went to say something, but he stopped himself. I assume his brain is still wired to loyalty, but the wall I broke down was washing that away. " What are you thinking?" I asked he he withdrew money multiple times, taking $300 each time.

" It depends." He mumbled, " Sometimes nothing, sometimes memories of what I did. Sometimes my brain tells me to kill you. Sometimes it tells me to kill everyone."

" That's comforting." I sighed.

  He started handing me the bills, " You keep $1000 in your bag, I keep $1000 in mine. Our story is we're a young couple leaving home after withdrawing all the money we had to start fresh."

" Solid enough."

Hand in hand, we walked towards the boarding, and eventually sitting down on the plane. I didn't notice, but Bucky was holding my hand for 15 minutes.

He noticed, pulling it away. " I'm sorry."

" You're fine." I shrugged, facing towards the window, away from him.

I pulled out my phone. Bucky had disabled the tracker. I saw about a million missed calls and texts from Tony, Nat, Clint, Bruce, Maria and Fury. One text from Steve.

Please come home.

I pulled it out to text back.

You know I can't do that.

I'll help him. I promise. We'll fix him.

I'm sorry.

I can't keep you safe if you aren't here.

Let me keep myself safe.

I turned my phone off shoving it in my bag. Bucky looked at me sadly, " Are you sure?"

" I've never been more sure about anything."