The Fake Smile He Wears

Chapter 1

[Edited: I changed a lot of the details and added 1500 words. I'll edit chapter two soon, because it was cringe as heck.]
I DON'T OWN Hetalia whatsoever (I wish I did). The poem above is not mine.
There are OCS, they are the Mexico twins, Diego and Maria, Allen, which I have no doubt you probably know who he is from other fanfics, if not you'll see~ There are some of the Ancients which are OCS like Native America and others I'm too lazy to name.
Also sorry for the long paragraphs, it's a problem of mine, so I'll try to spilt up some of the paragraphs! I am deeply sorry if I offend you in anyway shape of form. I'll try my best though!
Quick reminder that when he's talking to Allen it's all in his head. Allen speaking: Hi
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Sticks and stones may break my bones, but word will never hurt me. America thought about those words in his head. Almost every child has been told this quote. He remembered England telling it to him so long ago, and it was a lie. A lie he thought was true. Words hurt more than anything in the world. Words were like bullets, except people didn't know the consequences, people didn't know words were bullets, people didn't see the warnings. They shot words out, not knowing what they've done, not seeing the wound they brought upon. Words can break people, all it takes is one wrong word, and everything changes, just like that. Sticks and stones may break bones, but they can heal. Words are like bad memories, they'll always haunt you, no matter how hard you try to forget. When he became a country, everything turned upside down. He thought life would be easier after he became a country, he was so wrong. Everything became harder. He wondered, if it was really worth it to become a country. When he started going to World meetings, his life just got even worse. He thought everyone would be nice, they were at first, after all they all hated England. It didn't stay that way for long, the higher he rose, the more people looked at him more like an enemy, everyone became more and distant from him. He didn't understand why, back then, but he knew now. He kept growing and getting better than them, even though he had barely the same amount of experience as the others. They were jealous of him, they saw him as something they could've been, something they were once like, something he had took away from them. Rumors about him, and vicious words became a normal thing. Insults became more and more often, he tried to pretend he couldn't hear them, but he took every word to heart, even though he hated to admit it. Those words stayed with him, even to this day. He had suffered so much, but no one knows about his pain and suffering. He hid his pain ever since he met England and France. He knew that they were suppose to be his guardians and whatnot, but he found it hard to believe. Not that he didn't think of them as a parental figure, it was because he never felt like a child of theirs. He felt like a leech, leeching off of his guardians, taking all of the attention for himself. He felt selfish, he had caused Mattie to feel useless, and unimportant, when Mattie was in fact the world to him. He could only blame himself for his actions. A star example of a good child was Mattie, he was never right, he was never enough, but he hurt both of his guardians more than anyone else. He fought Arthur, and he saw the damage he brought upon Arthur. He asked for help from Francis, and never helped him back when Francis was in a time of need. He was a selfish child. He felt like he was living in hell, like the whole world was against him, but he was the one who turned the world against himself. He couldn't blame anyone else, but himself. Everyday, he wished that anyone would come save him from the hellhole he created. He created his own living hell, he wished that someone would save him from himself. He wished someone noticed his pain. But, he always asked for the impossible, he was only disappointing himself. Of course, no one knew he felt like shit or hated himself so much, he never said anything about it, he just knows that if he does, they won't believe him anyways. He expects to much out of people, he always loved comics and books for that reason, the most impossible things happen, that he sometimes wished happened to him, but reality is always there to knock him down. No one noticed the artificial smile and look on his face. He constructed his mask too well. No one could see through it. He suffered in silence. He hoped someone noticed. No one did. No one ever did.