The Memoirs of Elikai: The Children of the Solstice

Chapter IV: Remembrance

The hallway was covered with the memories of my family, filled with the beautiful smiles of those I loved, who loved me, and were now gone. I looked at all their smiling faces, and I longed to be as happy as I pretended to be in the photographs.  When I looked at the boy in the pictures, he seemed happy, and was very well loved. But what no one else saw was the darkness that continued to stalk him, whispering in his ear to kill himself before more of his loved ones died.

I held a picture of myself that was encased in a wooden frame. I was smiling while my brother was about to shove a marshmallow in my ear, just before the picture was taken. The fire in my veins burned pleasantly at the memory.

I remembered that day by the lake, the last day of our vacation before we headed back to Boston, where I would soon start my freshmen year of high school. This picture had been taken over a year ago, and was one of my absolute favorite memories. I remembered it so clearly, because it was one of the few days when the darkness didn't touch me.

I remembered waking up, the summer morning light filling my room through the open window. I remembered taking a deep breath, waiting for the voices to start, but there was nothing but silence.  I actually drifted back to sleep with a smile on my face, but in my sleepy haze, I clearly heard a soft, kind voice that said, You are not alone, Danny.

The words sent me into a cozy, dreamless sleep. I felt them around me, everyone I loved. I couldn't see them or hear them, but I knew they were with me. I knew they loved me, and were always there for me. It was a beautiful, quite moment we had all somehow shared before. The surrounding dark was warm and assuring, as if I were asleep on a hammock in late summer. For once, I felt safe in the darkness, and I was not desperately searching for a way out.

I didn't want to be disturbed, but as if on cue, my brother woke me by gently pulling me out of the darkness, and back into the light. I could smell a savory aroma, and I saw Matthew holding a plate that was piled high with bacon. There was never a better way to start the day than with Aunt Shannon's bacon.

"Good morning, Danny!" He set the plate down next to me on top of the comforter as he went to sit in the chair next to the window. The window was open, and a soft breeze twirled the curtains gently in a lazy dance. He looked at the open window, and then back to me.

"Did you leave this open?" He asked as I shoved bacon in my mouth.

No, I thought, and I heard Matthew chuckle. What? I said, still in my mind. I glanced away from the bacon to watch him as he walked toward the sunny window. The great thing about you being able to read my mind is that I don't have to stop eating to speak to you.

"Well, how can speaking compete with bacon?" He asked with an airy chuckle as he closed the window. He gave me a look, the same knowing look he always gave me when he knew more than I wanted him to. Even though I didn't have the ability to read his mind, I knew exactly what was upsetting him.

"Matthew, I promise you that I'm fine," I said aloud. "Honestly, there are no voices this morning. I actually feel pretty good. I feel, I don't know, happy?" I felt it was important enough for me to stop eating for a moment to help make him believe me. His green eyes scanned me, and I knew he was looking through my mind with a curious, skeptical glare.

Okay, fine, don't believe me, I thought, putting my bacon back on my plate. In my head, I replayed how peaceful the darkness was, and how I had felt that morning.  I showed him the soothing voice that assured me I would not be alone. If I had blinked, I would have missed the look of surprise and a flash of anger that masked his features for a fraction of a second. However confused that made me, I wanted him to know that, for the first time in a while, I was happy, and I wanted it to be a great day.