Epilogue

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The sun was high when Shen Wei opened his eyes to greet the ceiling of Zhao Yunlan's apartment. Well, their apartment really, considering the sheer amount of time he spent here in this amazingly comfortable bed. They had talked of buying a house or an apartment for their own nearer to Dixing, but right now this place was home.

Anywhere with Yunlan was home.

He stretched languidly against the sheets, feeling lazy, but it was the Spring Festival and as part of their preferred schedule, Dixing opened later than usual and stayed open longer during this Golden Week, until about two am. So, he wasn't likely to see Zhao Yunlan until the early hours of the morning tomorrow, and spending this precious time with him was all Shen Wei planned to do, especially as Zhao Yunlan would go on tour with Rising Tide in a few months.

They had been together now for eight months. Eight glorious months of love, laughter and discovery, with the sound of classical music being played at all hours, that silky voice murmuring into his skin, talking animatedly or chatting quietly as he cooked. It was domestic, perfect and everything Shen Wei could ever want.

His hollow, lonely life was filled with color. Filled with Zhao Yunlan, who made sure there was never a dull moment.

He  turned his head and gazed at his man lovingly

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He turned his head and gazed at his man lovingly. Yunlan was sleeping on his side, curled towards him with the covers kicked to his toned waist. Shen smiled exasperated and pulled the duvet up to his shoulder, just content to watch his sleeping beauty. He was tired. Yunlan had performed live until four in the morning, in the freezing cold of the open air concert, so Shen Wei was inclined to make the stubborn man stay warm and sleep in.

When their parents had died they had always been cold in winter.

It was a stray thought but his throat closed up, thinking of Ye Zun. Some mornings he woke happy and faced the day with a lighter heart and sometimes he would be struck once more with the realization, that he was alive and his twin was dead. His brother was always in his heart, there in his mind and choices, every day, but the guilt and bleak days where Shen pretended to function, pretended he wasn't crying, had ended with Yunlan. Still, some memories are hard to forget and while they were becoming odd days in the week, it was thoughts like these that ripped the still bleeding wound wide open.

He never told Yunlan about these moments, when Yunlan wasn't there or like now, fast asleep unaware of the soap opera beside him. They talked freely of everything but that. They talked about the park and Zhao's mother, a minefield of a topic that he often avoided and even, when they had to, about Zhao's father, who treated his Savior as though he were some kind of failure. He told Yunlan stories of Ye Zun, showed him photos and Zhao was always interested, sympathetic and kind. But, these jagged edges and bleak thoughts were never something he wanted Zhao to worry about.

Shen Wei knew that he would be fine, if not today then one day. Zhao Yunlan, his Savior, his angel and the love of his life, walked beside him, braving every storm and rejoicing in every good memory. He didn't need to know that it was Yunlan's music and voice that got him through and how it was that very medium that was going to make Zhao's upcoming trip survivable.

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