I
Kabog
Hindi ko Maintindihan
damdamin ko sayo ay naguguluhan
Sa tuwing nakakasalubong ka,
puso ko ay natataranta
. . . .
Nauutal at di makapagsalita
tingin mo pa lang ako'y nanghihina
Di makalakad ng tuwid,
pakiramdam ko ako'y lumulutang sa himpapawid
. . . .
Mga tuhod ay nangangatog
dahil sa pusong di mapahinto ang pagkabog
Kamay ay pinagpapawisan,
madalas mga mata'y nakatingin sa kawalan
. . . .
Dugdog, Dugdog, Dugdog...
tibok ng puso, na unti-unting nahuhulog
Mga sulyap mo sa akin ay tila nagpapahiwatig,
na bawat kabog ng puso mo alay nito'y pag-ibig *-*
Isinulat Noong: Ika-12 ng Agosto, taong 1998
______________________________________
A story Behind this Poem:
This poem was written in a young girl's POV, the message of the poem was about a girl expressing her feelings and emotions every time she came across with this young boy. She described every emotions she felt such as her heart kept pounding so fast, her hands were sweating , she couldn't walk straight, her knees were trembling and she thought about stumbling any time the boy she likes came near her. Somehow she knew and she felt that this boy felt the same way...
There was a girl a sophomore student who happened to have a crush to a Senior student in their school. This young boy was gentleman, handsome and smart and not only that he was part of a basketball team. Every girls in the campus would cheer. As a teenager, this girl got so excited when sometimes she caught the boy glancing at her. The day she wouldn't forget was when she was at the bench nearby her classroom she was getting ready for her class when the boy stopped by and took her book. She wondered why he took her book, the boy walked away heading to the library, looking back at her and smiling. He came back to see her to return the book he borrowed. When the girl opened it she saw a note written by the boy hidden in one of the pages. She was so happy and she couldn't help herself not to giggle.
13 years later...
This handsome man and the beautiful lady met again. The man became a successful manager of a company and the latter was also got a not so amazing job; dealing with her stressful boss everyday. Then time has come when the guy professed his love to her, she was the happiest person. Indeed, it was a dream come true. To be with him. To be with the guy she loves.
But in every joyful moment there is always sadness and mishap awaits. The guy was set to marry with other woman. He said he loves her so much, but his love for her wasn't enough to fight for their love. He was scared, should we say coward. She knew their love came in a wrong time. It was wrong because someone was going to get hurt no matter what.
She was torn between two options. Should she fight for her love and never gave him up. But what if there was nothing to fight for, what if the guy didn't really choose her in the first place. That he wasn't ready to defy his family, he was so afraid what his friends would tell him. He didn't want to leave the girl he was set to marry; just because he found someone new to love. He didn't think it was right. But, in other way around did he ever think about, the girl's feelings, how painful it was to expect and dwell on a little hope that despite of everything, he would still choose her and make their story a 'Happy Ever After'.
But the girl chose not to be a selfish bitch. She would rather cry and take all the pain. She didn't want to be selfish, she didn't want to ruin their engagement. Even if it hurts her so bad. She decided to let go. Even though part of her, wished that he'd choose her instead. But no matter what happened. Her heart couldn't find any room of rancor, and she couldn't find a reason of getting mad at him because for her he was the nicest man she ever met. I beg to disagree, but how could he be the nicest man she ever met if he was the same man who made her cry. Hence, she went away, far away, so she could start to mend her broken heart.
As for the guy he eventually married the other girl he was set to marry. He has no reason not to be happy with her, the woman he married to was beautiful and a very good person and they deserved each other. She bet they are happy now. -The end-
Author's Note:
In this life, we all know we can't always end up with someone we love, or someone we dreamed to be with us. However, we need to remember that there is always a rainbow, after the rain. I admired the courage and the selflessness of the main girl in this story. How could you possibly give up someone you love, someone that made meanings in your life? But just like what she said, it is pointless to keep pressing on if the one you love has given up on you. In my point of view, I don't think you could be happier enough and satisfied in life if you ruin someone's wedding. Well, absolutely it really happened in the novel, in movies as well wherein two people in love take what it takes to fight for their love, some dude stole the bride from the groom in a church just to make their story a happy ever after. But that's not the case here. :)
I'm glad to share that the girl in our story is happier now with someone she loves, that very someone truly loves and cares for her. :) As she said she might not get the man she wished for, but in lieu she got the man she prayed for. :)
Do you guys have the same experience? If yes, don't forget to share a brief story about it in the comment section. I would love to hear it. Happy reading.
-
II
Tulala
Ang puso kong nagmamahal
Habang buhay sayo'y maghihintay
Minsa'y naging masaya sa kakarampot na pag-asa
Ngunit ang tadhana ay sadyang mapaglaro. . .
Inamin ng puso na ikaw ay mahal
Umaasang sa bawat minuto ay muling makapiling ka
Lahat ng pangamba ay unti-unti nang nawawala
Ang pangarap na tayong dalawa ay habang buhay na magsasama. . . .
Ngunit paano na ngayong mayroon ka ng iba
Sabi mo sa piling niya ay hindi ka masaya
Sa bawat pagluha mo, puso ko'y nagdurusa
Sumbat sa kahapon, ngayo'y paano na. . . . .
Hindi ko kayang mabuhay na wala ka
Kaya tiniis kong maging kaibigan mo lang pala
Magkalayo man tayo ng tuluyan
Sa puso't isip ko, ikaw pa rin ang nag-iisang mahal...
Author's Note:
Ang tulang ito ay para sa mga nagmahal at nasaktan, umasa, naghintay at nasaktan muli. Ang pag-ibig ay minsan lang matagpuan sa mundong ito, kung nagmahal man tayo sa maling tao, sa maling pagkakataon, isipin na lang natin na ang bawat sandali na ating ginugol para mahalin sila ay isa sa pinakamasaya at natatanging pangyayari na mararanasan natin. Minsan kailangan natin masaktan bago natin mapagtanto kung ano talaga ang hinahanap ng ating puso. Sa mga ganitong pagkakataon hindi natin maiiwasang walang masaktan. Kailangang may masaktan at kadalasan yung nasasaktan natin ay yung mga taong espesyal sa buhay natin. Isang taong mahal natin bilang isang kaibigan dahil sila ay naging bahagi nang ating buhay.
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