Double Agent |Kylo Ren|

Prologue

 Rationally, this is a horrible idea. I shouldn't want to do this—I could easily die!

When it comes to him, I can't think rationally. He may have lost his way, but I haven't. And I intend to bring him back, even if all hope may be lost in salvaging him. I have to try.

"You've lost it," says Cayden, someone who I've befriended since fleeing from the Jedi Academy. "You've absolutely lost it."

I glare at him. He doesn't understand.

"You can't just go out there—you might as well kill yourself now!"

"Okay," I say, putting my hand up to stop him, "first of all: how rude of you to say that. Second of all: you have no faith in me. Third of all: you don't know him. You never have, I've only told you how I've known him to be."

"That's not the same man that you knew, Amara. That man...he might as well be dead. His replacement is a monster, a slave to evil."

I cringe. I'm well aware of what Ben Solo seems to be now. High-ranked personnel in the First Order. Second to Supreme Leader Snoke. Ben no longer goes by his name.

He goes by a new one, one more fitting for his cross to the dark.

"If you go through with this, you risk becoming one too," Cayden tells me firmly. "I know we've only been friends for a few years, but I wasn't planning on ending that anytime soon. Were you?"

"No, I wasn't. I'm not." I purse my lips.

Cayden has no involvement with any whispers of a resistance, nor any affiliation with the First Order. He, like many in this galaxy, listen for any news regarding this never-ending war in hopes that it doesn't come onto their home turf. He outranks me by ten years, though the graying in his hair suggests otherwise. His build is fair, but he's stronger than he looks.

"Why is he so important to you? Were you sleeping with him or something?"

I raise my brows in surprise. "We were friends. We trained together."

"You didn't exactly deny—"

"Cayden. I did not sleep with him. My mind never went there."

"You said 'were' friends," he reiterates. "Past tense. So, if you're referring to him in the past tense, why are you wasting your time?"

"Because if I fell like he has, he would try and bring me back to my senses."

Cayden rubs his whiskery face in exasperation. "And you know that for sure?"

"Like I said, we were friends."

"The second you land yourself there, they'll know you're not serious. They'll sniff out your motive before you can say a word. What happens then, Mar?"

"I find a way to survive and get him back."

"He's not a hostage there, he chose that path."

I shake my head adamantly. "I don't want to believe that, Cay. Unless I see proof of it, I'm not going to."

"They might kill you on sight if they catch you with your weapon."

"Who says I'm going to use it? All I need to do is get arrested."

"She says nonchalantly."

"I'm not going to kill a trooper, that might kill me. All I need to do is provoke one."

"You do know they'll search you, right? You might as well leave your saber with me."

"I know you're my friend, Cayden, but I am not leaving my lightsaber on another planet that I won't be on. Yes, I'll risk losing it maybe for forever, but I'm throwing a lot of risks into this."

"Damn right you are. I know you can't give me a timetable for return, but, if I think you're gone too long, I'm coming after you."

"Your definition of 'too long' would probably be one planet rotation. Surely you have enough faith in me to assume I can last at least that long?"

Cayden groans, rubbing his face. "Why am I letting you do this?"

"Because you won't be able to stop me."

"Just...be careful, Mar. If I do need to bail you out, I don't want to face a dark you."

I don't want to face a dark me either. Hopefully, neither of us will have to.