Double Agent |Kylo Ren|

13 - Torn Apart

When anyone tells you that someone "needs to talk to you" and does not provide a reason for said upcoming talk, it scares the shit out of you.

As a precaution, I've taken both of my new sabers, one for each belt loop around my tunic. These are more for when shit gets bad and I need to defend myself. I don't know what to expect walking into this.

Ben did not tell me that the Supreme Leader wanted to speak to us both. In fact, Hux had. That orange-haired slime ball had said it with a smirk on his smug face, too, which gave me a huge red flag in the back of my mind. Hence, my lightsabers.

If this is some sort of trap in any way by General Hux, I will cut him down where he stands. His blood I will gladly spill...I'll just need to think of a way to spin it so as to not blow my cover. That's if I get to that point.

My hair bounces in stride as I head for the main room from before. It seems that all I do is eat, sleep, shower, train, and talk to Snoke. Oh, and manage to piss off Hux, I can't forget that.

The door opens to the room, and something feels different in the air. Hux and Ben stand at attention before Snoke's holographic image, the flickering giant.

"Ah, Miss Galavan," Snoke croons. The sickening sweet tone makes me want to gag. "You're right on time."

"Have I missed something?" I ask.

"No, in fact, we were waiting on you," says Hux. There's a glint in his beady eyes that I don't like.

"What do I owe this pleasure? Have we located Master Skywalker? Are we going to go after him?"

"As much as I wish that were the case, it is not," says Snoke. "You are here for a different matter. For some time now, you have been under the teachings of Lord Ren. You have sparred with him, gained agility and knowledge under him. You've constructed your new weapons. Now comes the ultimate test: the big step. Are you ready?"

My first instinct tells me to say "No!" but I blurt out, "Yes, I am. What task am I facing?"

"I'm glad you asked," Hux cuts in. He looks over to Ben, who in turn half turns to me. I catch the...sorrowful look?...in his eyes.

My heart begins to race, my mind leaps to the worst. All that I've built is crumbling, and it is about to. I can't imagine what Snoke will make me do. Fight Ben? Kill him? I'd sooner kill Hux than Ben Solo.

Ben sidesteps, and up until now, I hadn't realized he had been shielding someone from my view. My breath is stolen from me.

It's Cayden.

His arms are bound behind his back, defenseless. Lacerations litter his face, and he has a heavy dose of sweat across his brow. My brows knit together. Someone's been hurting him...because I haven't been there to talk to him. Someone's been hurting him, and I haven't been there to find the culprit and punish them. I've...I've neglected my best friend.

I have a bad feeling we're both about to pay for my negligence.

"Are we to train him, Supreme Leader?" I ask dumbly.

"He is not Force sensitive, there would be no point. No, Miss Galavan, he is your test. He is your leap that bridges the gap between your training and full, utter devotion to the Dark Side."

Snoke's order is quiet clear, though indirect: I must kill my best friend.

I lick my lips, determined to not whistle and give away my anxiety. Ben takes a further step away from Cayden, allowing me a better view of my condemned-to-death best friend. There are so many things that I want to say to him, that I must tell him...

If I do, I risk exposure. If I don't tell him, I will never forgive myself.

Blood pounds in my ears. I feel a dizzy spell coming on. They have to know about me, they wouldn't do this otherwise. Though I don't put it past the First Order to have prisoners executed if they're worthless, this order for execution...this feels personal.

"Do you have all your prisoners executed by lightsaber?" I ask past the lump in my throat.

"Are you having second thoughts, Galavan?" Hux leers at me.

I give him a stern look. "No." Inside, I'm tormented. Inside, I'm in pain. I can't kill Cayden. I can't...

But I can't risk losing Ben forever, either. I am in too deep, and now I am suffering for it. I feel like I am making an impossible decision: spare my best friend, or save the subject of my original mission for infiltrating the First Order?

The pressure in my head is squeezing, as though someone actually has their hands on my skull and is using all their strength.

Hux breaks me from my inner suffering by walking to Cayden. He kicks my best friend, forcing him to his knees. Hux gestures for me to approach. Instead of remaining silent on the issue, Ben gives me a simple go-ahead nod.

I take the smallest steps imaginable as I walk to Cayden. Flashbacks of the origins of our friendship flash by my eyes. I recall how secretive I was, yet that didn't sway him from offering me a roof over my head, food for my stomach, and a bed to sleep in.

If I have to go through with this, I need to make this painless for him. I should...I should owe him that much. My throat feels parched. I can't do this. He's forcing me into a corner. I can't...

One hand fingers one of the sabers hanging in their respective belt loop. Hux stands a few feet behind Cayden, hands clasped behind his back. He leans in slightly, eager to see what I'll do. Cayden looks through his lashes at me. His eyes do not hold anger, not betrayal. They look almost...defeated, like he expects me to kill him.

"If you don't hurry it up, Galavan, I will put him down myself," Hux snarls at me.

"You will do no such thing," Snoke scolds the orange-haired general. "Miss Galavan, do I sense conflict?"

He already knows the answer to that question; he just wants to hear me say it out loud. He wants me to out myself, for me to put the final nails in my coffin. There's only one way to prevent that, and I despise that way out.

But it's starting to seem like it's the only way.

I look over Cayden's head, straight into the hologram of Snoke. "No."

I'm sorry.

Though it happens in real time, the act slows down. The saber comes to life in my hand, its red blade ready to take the life of my best friend. I thrust it at him, it cuts clean through; I see a red glow protrude from his back. The startled breath escapes his mouth, and hearing it steals my own breath away.

As Cayden begins to keel towards me, I rip the blade out. He lands at my feet, hands still cuffed behind him. Where my saber impaled him, a black spot that smells of burnt blood remains.

My saber remains on. Nobody applauds my dirty deed, I thank them for that kindness. If this had played out any differently, I would have held Cayden in my arms and sobbed over him until someone pulled me away, or I had no more tears left to use.

"It's finished," I say in a hollow tone. I sound mechanical, like I've transformed into a murderous droid.

"You have done well," says Snoke. "My doubts about you are quelled, Amara Galavan. Lord Ren will continue with your training, as well as get you more acquainted with the inner workings of the First Order."

"T-thank you, Supreme Leader." The saber in my hand begins to tremble. I am violently shaking.

Cayden...

I want to cry. I want to scream my frustration. Instead, I have to conceal my anger, my hatred. I need to convince the First Order that I, Amara Galavan, am the same, scummy level as them. That I am a murderer.

My eyes move upwards from Cayden's body and settle onto Hux.

That stupid smirk has pissed me off for the last fucking time.