Renesmee Cullen: Rising Sun *COMPLETED* WATTY AWARDS 2012

Little Monster

Chapter Five

I didn't have any idea how everyone would react to this, but I had to do it, I had to face Jacob sooner better than later. I could feel my heart race harder each mile I was closer to the Rez. I was there in less than half an hour.

I parked my car in front of Billy's house. I missed it around here; I missed Jacob, Billy, First Beach, I simply missed everything here, like a piece of me was missing and I just got it back. Weird.

"Renesmee?" Billy asked from the porch.

"Hey, Billy!" I waved at him as I went closer. "Is Jake here?"

"Umm… yeah, he's upstairs in his room, I guess,"

"You guess?"

"Well, Renesmee, I won't lie to you; he wasn't himself lately. He would sneak out a lot, turn to his wolf form and just run. But I think he is in his room now,"

I grimaced; I was the reason he had been messed up.

I ran to his room, praying to find him there. But, to no one's surprise, he wasn't.

I waved Billy goodbye and jumped into my car, tears forming in my eye, my humble attempts to push them back faded as soon as I was on the road.

I was the reason everyone was messed up! I was the reason Momma almost died, I was the reason the Volturi came to Forks, I was the reason Jacob was suffering; I was nothing but trouble.

I just wandered around the Reservation, going nowhere in particular. I didn't really concentrate on the road; I just turned on the radio, trying to calm myself down.

I knew I should pull over until I could concentrate completely on the road, so I parked my car near the cliff Jake and I used to cliff-dive from.

I let myself sob since no one was watching. I guess a lot of time passed when I heard someone knock on my window.

"Nessie? What are you doing here?" Seth asked.

It took me a couple of seconds to be able to form a proper response.

"I wanted to see Jacob, but he wasn't at home. I haven't seen him since my birthday night and I miss him so much. I need to discuss some issues with him but I just couldn't find him. It's my fault. He's suffering, Seth, and it's my entire fault. I..-" I babbled, still sobbing.

"Whoa, Ness, easy on yourself; it's not your fault. Now, lock your car –by the way it's great!-" Seth knew how to lighten the mood, but it wasn't the time,"- and come with me to Sam and Emily's; Jake will be there in a while."

I did what he told me and went there. Only Emily was there; Sam and Jacob were supposed to come together.

"What a surprise, Nessie! Come here, I've just made some chocolate cookies. I know you love them," Emily said.

"Thanks, Emily, I'll just wait for Jake."

"Oh, yeah. Okay, sweetie. I'm right here if you need anything," she smiled. I really loved her.

I think I fell asleep because the next thing I felt was huge, warm hands shaking my shoulder.

"Nessie?"

"JAKE!"

"You alright? You seem tired. Oh God, were you crying?"

I leaned on his chest and sobbed.

"Oh, Jake. I've missed you so much,"

"Me too, sweetie," he rubbed his hands on my back in an attempt to soothe me.