Our Ana | Kate & Ana & Christian

Chapter 22

Ana's Pov;

I feel exhausted, empty, and numb, as I storm out of Christian's kitchen, leaving him to have dinner alone. I know he was just being honest by telling me about Leila, he was doing the right thing, but I don't want to have to hear another word about it. So I can't stay and talk it out with him. I'm finished talking for the night. I crawl into his bed and curl up in a ball, my mind racing with the days events. Leila broke into my apartment with a gun. Christian bathed her in my home, dressed her in my clothes. He let me touch him for the first time, no map needed. He opened himself to me completely. He showed me the monster he believes is lurking deep down inside. Most mind blowing of all he asked me to marry him. He wants me to be his wife, to commit to him and only him forever, to be his in all ways. Can I do that? I don't know. I want to. I want to so badly. I just don't know the entirety of what I'm getting myself into with him. There's still so much we've yet to learn about each other. I rub my temples, closing my eyes, and I try to relax myself into a deep slumber. Soon the thoughts and worries clawing at my brain subside.

I wake to the sound of Christian screaming. He's having a nightmare. I grab onto his shoulders and hold him still in my arms, he thrashes, but eventually it stops. His eyes open and he peers up at me, waking up. "You left." He gasps. "In my dream you left. Please don't leave." He whispers. He seems so small, so fragile. It's heartbreaking. "I'm here. I'm right here with you. I'm not going anywhere." I stroke his cheek, as his eyes begin to flutter. My answer seems to calm him down at least a little. He's reassured, at least for now, that I'm not going to up and run no matter what problem we'll have to face next. His eyes close, then open, then close again. "Oh, Ana." He sighs my name, his expression one of deep relief. He wraps his arms around me tightly, holding me as I am him. I stroke his cheek and hair, looking into his dark eyes. I feel wide awake now. He leans in and kisses me hastily. He then kisses down the side of my jaw and my neck. He tugs my t-shirt off, to gain access to my body as well as he claims me as his. "I want you so much, Ana. I need you please." He pulls me into his lap, placing me on top. His eyes are filled with longing for me. I can't bear to resist him any longer. My body is aching for him, and only him, in this moment. I think I'd agree to anything he asked right now. It'd be hard not to with the way we fit together. So right. "Never leave me." He says, commanding me, and I only moan in response as our bodies intertwine. 

When I wake Christian is still beside me. He's awake, watching me cautiously. I turn over on my side facing him and he grins. "Good morning, Ms. Steele." He regards me sweetly and  I can't help but to grin back. He's so different this morning. So happy and serene. I like this Christian, happy Christian. It truly is a sight. "Good morning, Mr. Grey." I reply, biting my lower lip. We're both still naked from our late night makeup sex. We could go again. "What time is it?" I turn my head to look at the clock, searching for an answer for my own question before Christian can tell me. "Shit!" It's late, really late. I've got to get to work fast. I jump from the bed without another word and dash into the bathroom, forgetting completely about my desires for morning sex with Christian. I shower, dry off, and dress in a frenzy. I pay no mind to Christian watching me from the bed as I dress in front of him, leaving a wet towel on his floor, and slipping into my work clothes at record speed. Unlike me, he's not worried a bit about being late. He has no reason to be worried. He's not an assistant, he's a CEO. He can come and go as he pleases, and he does often. "You could stay in. Call in sick or something. I'll help you makeup an excuse." Christian offers and I roll my eyes. "Absolutely not! I'm trying to actually keep my job, not lose it and become your housewife." Christian clutches his chest and pretends to be wounded. "You're very cranky this morning." I slap a watch on my wrist, ignoring his commentary. "I'm very cranky when I'm late and my jobs on the line." I correct him, then move to wrap my hair up in a ponytail. I slip on a pair of high heeled shoes, then check the clock. I've managed to give myself a few minutes to spare with my quick dressing. I approach the bed and sit down on the end of it. "Marry me, please. I love waking up with you." Christian says, and I laugh. "I love waking up with you too, more than you know." I bend down and kiss him softly, my fingers tangling in his hair. I'm on a tight schedule, I'm aware of that, but as we kiss I begin to become less and less concerned about getting to work. Maybe I should stay in bed with him. He is technically my boss, in a weird way. He wouldn't let me lose my job, not even if I deserved it. But, I wan't to do things the proper way on my own in my work life, so I let him go. We break the kiss and I sit back, my head still reeling. "I won't marry you, but I will move in with you. Right away if the offer still stands. Because I love you." I tell him, and his face lights up. "Really? You'll stay here with me?" I nod and his grin widens. He attempts to grab me to pull me back into bed with him, but I back away out of his reach. "I'll stay with you starting tonight. Right now, I need to get to work." I hop off the bed and Christian closes his eyes as I walk away. Taylor drives me to work. The drive is silent, but calming. I'm certain Taylor will get me to work on time. As I go through the workday I begin to feel my excitement grow as the time passes. After work I have to go get my things from the apartment and bring them to Christian's place. I don't have much so the move will be simple. The only thing left to do is tell Kate. At around lunchtime I call her. I take the call outside so that there's less a risk of anyone overhearing, particularly Jack. "Kate, Hey!" She picks up on the first ring to my surprise. She's usually taking so many calls that she has to put me on hold to finish a work call before we can talk. "Ana! I'm so glad to be hearing from you. I was worried! How was last night? Did you and Christian work things out?" She asks, making anxiety tighten in my chest. Why am I so nervous about telling her I'm moving in with Christian?  It's not like we won't be able to be together any more. Right? I hope my feelings for Christian and our closeness won't overshadow my relationship with Kate now that we're taking such a big step forward, but I suppose I don't really know what the future will bring or who will be in it. "Uh, yeah." I stammer, struggling to talk through the huge weight on my chest. "Yeah, we did. We talked everything out. Leila is far away getting the help she needs so there's no need to worry about her anymore." I tell her about Leila to avoid talking about the newest development with Christian. "That's great to hear. I'm glad you two are okay and that Leila's okay." Kate says, completely oblivious to my nervousness. There's an awkward pause of silence and I know it's my turn to speak. "Yes, those are all good things." I take a deep breath to steady myself. Just rip the band aid off Steele. "Christian asked me to marry him." I stutter out and I hear Kate's gasp through the phone. "I said no." I rush to add in my answer before she can really begin to spiral into emotional chaos. "I think he was mostly asking out of desperation. He was worried I would leave him after what happened with Leila." I explain, remembering Christian's not so romantic proposal. "Oh." Kate mutters. "I know it's too soon for that anyway and he does too." At least I think he does. Life's such an emotional roller coaster with him. I think he loses the rational side of his brain when I'm around. I'm hoping if he feels inclined I might get a real proposal some day, but I don't want that some day to come anytime soon. We're just not ready. "I did agree to move in with him though." I confess. "I see. Is that what you want? You're not just agreeing to convince him that you're not going to abandon him?" Kate asks. "This is what I want. I know it means losing time with you and I hate that believe me, I do. I'm going to miss you so much, but I want to try to get close to him again and trust him and to do that I think this is the best decision. It's not like we won't still be able to see each other. You can come over there and I can come over to the apartment whenever you want. I'm not just going to move out and never come back. The apartment will always be our special place. It's home." As I talk about it my yearning for Kate grows, but I won't go back on my promise to Christian. I'm making the right decision, I'm sure of it. This is the only way we can move forward in our relationship. We have to make changes and sacrifices to accommodate each other. "I'll help you pack up your things. But you know you can always come back. Whenever you want, okay, Ana?" Kate says and I smile. This is her way of giving me her support. "Okay, Kate. I love you." She tells me she loves me too, then we end the call. It's a strange feeling to know I won't be living with Kate anymore. The apartment will be Kate's home and Christian's place will belong to both him and I. It seems like Kate and I our divided physically, but emotionally I can feel our love just as strong as before.