The New Normal

Chapter Four

"Yo, J!" Ari hollered across the parking lot as I was heading to the bus stop.

I turned in the direction of her voice and searched across the lot to find where she was. Finally, I saw her standing by Chad's car. She had her hand up, shielding her eyes from the beating sun. "Wanna ride home?"

"Su-" I started to say but I quickly stopped myself when I saw Tyler hop in the passenger seat, not sparing a second glance. I waved my hand and gave my friend a nice smile. "Nah, I don't mind the bus ride."

Chad was leaning on the front seat door with his arm crossed as the small conversation went on.

Ariel shrugged her shoulders at my reply and gave me a small smile as she got in the back seat and Chad gave me a little wave as he got in the front. Quickly, they sped off and I stood in the parking lot for a moment, thinking I probably should have taken the ride, I really wasn't in the mood for a bus ride and I probably could have dealt with Tyler and his persistent hostility towards me but that wasn't a chance I was willing to take.

Accepting the fact I had a half hour bus ride ahead of me, I walked over to the parked bus that was at the stop. I wished Dad would have taken the other car to the shop before the school year began but apparently it didn't cross his mind until I got back from California. Nevertheless, I slipped on my ear buds and got comfy in the first open seat I saw.

" So are you guys like, back together?" Ariel's voice sounded from my iPhone. I sighed and fell back onto my bed, staring at my floral tapestry that hung on my ceiling. I didn't know how to answer the question; technically, we weren't back together but he did act like we basically were.

At lunch he had his arm around me, snuck a few heartwarming glances, and the occasional kisses her and there. Sighing again, I said, "I don't know Ariel. We never said we were and I just got back, rushing into a relationship - especially with Blake - would be bad."

"Not really," my friend argued, though she sounded annoyed by the topic. I spent the last twenty minutes explaining what I felt or didn't feel towards Blake and I could tell she was tired of the subject as soon as I brought it up. Probably because I was reading too much into things. 

"You and Blake have been gaga for each other since middle school. It wouldn't be rushing, it'll be picking up where you left off. Besides, we all know you guys are end game anyways."

I knew she was right, but something about Blake and I didn't feel right. Maybe I just needed some time to adjust, after all, I was gone for awhile and I was still adjusting to Tristan's absence. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, it's all in my head. "Alright, well I need to take my mind off things, I'm going for a run."

"Be safe! Bye," Ariel said a little too quickly.

I hung up the phone, tossing it to the side of my bed. I then got dressed in my running gear; leggings from LuLu Lemon and a sports bra to match. Hastily, I put my in a ponytail as I bounded down the stairs and slipped on my runners. Grabbing my iPod shuffle, I started my run.

The fall air hit me, causing goosebumps to dance across my arms. I almost turned around to get my windbreaker but I decided against it, the cold motivated me, it helped me feel. I continued down my street at a steady pace and made a right turn at the end of it, going directly into the forest that surrounded my street's backyards. It was strange to be here, the last time I was, it was one of my last days in town before I went to California. I still remember the rain, it pounded onto me like little microscopic pebbles and I just sat there, for hours, hoping somehow once the rain stopped, everything would return back to normal and Tristan would return. Someone found me, but I don't remember who. It was nearly midnight when they did. The next day Dad and Aunt Gina approached me about California.

I don't remember ever agreeing to going but I don't remember throwing a fit about staying I just went. Maybe I should be concerned that I don't remember much of that summer, but my therapist in California had told me when people are going through a traumatic experience, their brain responds differently, as if its trying to shut out all the badness or sadness. But what I do remember was thinking how jealous Tristan would have been. He loved the sun, the heat, the swimming.

I stopped in my tracks as the memories of my brother started to surface and I felt a wave nauseousness strike me. Slowly, I walk over to the nearest tree and leaned against it, trying to catch my breath. But no matter how many times I took deep breaths in and long breaths out, I couldn't get the feeling of sickness to leave my stomach. When I tried to take another breath, my stomach seized and I coughed out all the undigested contents of my lunch. Tears sprung to my eyes and I walked to a different maple tree and slid my back against it until I felt my bottom touch the rough earth. Bringing my knees upwards so I could rest my forehead, I started to cry. "Why did I ever come back?"

I whispered to myself, feeling like it was my fault for even thinking I could handle coming home. A year wasn't enough time and at this point, I don't think there will ever be enough time for me to heal.

"Because it's your home," a deep, masculine voice answered.

I snapped my head upwards and my eyes landed on the figure in front of me. My eyes narrowed. "Are you following me?"

Tyler threw his back and let out an amused chuckle. When he did so, the sun hit him in a way it made the thin layer of sweat on his face glisten. He stopped abruptly and had his signature smirk. "We live on the same street, remember? Why do you think Ariel asked you if you wanted a ride? I mean, she probably would have asked regardless if I was there or not but still."

I shook my head at my stupidity. Of course I knew he lived on my street, that's how he and I first met. I fell off my bike in front of Tyler's house. Tyler was on his porch about to eat an ice cream sandwich. But instead of having it for himself, he gave it to me to keep me from crying. By the time Tristan located where I was, I was already halfway done my treat. He was so nice back then, what happened? Well, we were five at that time, I guess he grew up.

"Juliet," Tyler said, though it came out more as a question. "Juliet! Here, take this."

He held out his water bottle and I gave him a small but awkward smile as I took a long sip. "Thanks, I needed that."

Tyler studied me, his arms crossed - as per usual. "You look like shit."

"Why are you so annoying?" I snapped, throwing the water bottle at him.

Much to my surprise, he actually caught it. He took a few sips of his drink and gave me a wink. "Annoying girls is the most fun a guy can have without taking his clothes off."