006. Awake | Seokjin
Seokjin sulked into down at his office desk. He knew he for a fact that he was the least talented member of Bangtan, lacking in every way possible. He was the weakest vocal, weakest dancer, and he couldn't rap for the life of him. But even though he was considered the visual, all the attention usually went to Taehyung or Jungkook. And of course on top of that, he was the oldest out of all of them. He sighed, deep in thought. He would have to finish composing his solo fast, or he'd just be holding back the group again. Seokjin didn't want to accept it, but what else could he do? He didn't have wings like the other members. Because that was his fate, and the ugly truth. This was his reality. If only someone could understand my pain... He thought as he felt his chest get tighter. And thats when he came up with the whole entire song of Awake.
It's not that I believe it
But that I want to try holding out
Because this is
All that I can do
I want to remain
I want to dream more
Even so, what I'm saying is
That it's time to leave
Yeah it's my truth
It's my truth
I will be covered with wounds all over
But it's my fate
It's my fate
Still, I want to struggle and fight
Maybe I, I can never fly
Or as though I have wings
Maybe I, I can't touch the sky
Still, I want to stretch my hand out
I want to run, just a bit more
My happy times asked me this question
You, are you really okay, it asked me
Oh no
I, I'm just walking, I said
Oh no
But it's my fate
It's my fate
Still, I want to struggle and fight
Maybe I, I can never fly
Don't cry
Wide awake, wide awake, wide awake
No lie
Wide awake, wide awake, wide awake
Don't cry
Wide awake, wide awake, wide awake
No lie
Maybe I, I can never fly
I can't fly like the flower petals over there
Or as though I have wings
Maybe I, I can't touch the sky
Still, I want to stretch my hand out
I want to run
Just a bit more
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Honestly, listening to this song made me understand a bit more about Jin and how he feels as a member of BTS. When I tried to put myself in his position, I found it sad, so sad that it makes him write these lyrics, just try to imagine that you aren't good at dance ( compare to J-Hope, Jimin, Jungkook), you can't rap ( RM, J-Hope, Suga), and you can sing but usually dont have much lines in any of your group's songs. And even though you're a visual, Jungkook and Taehyung usually get most of the attention and stand above him. And above all, he's the oldest one (this may makes him feels very discourage as a hyung and he will have to serve in the military sooner than other members). These are his "cuts and bruises". I think the title of the the song is AWAKE (like this is the reality, the ugly truth), and Jin says that this is his "fate" (means he can not change anything about this), Jin also says this is "my truth" and he doesn't want to lie to himself, he knows that he's not okay with this (while the others fly he just walks) and told himself "Dont cry" Despite all of this, Jin loves the other members and is grateful for what he has. Thats why in the song he said that he will "strech out his hand " ( to reach other members) and he will try to run (to catch them and be with them for a longer time ) eventhough he knows its impossible because he doesnt have Wings as well as many other things ( talents or abilities ...) and he's just "trying to withstand" this, there will be a time when he leaves "its seems it come time to leave"Not to mention, he has to persuade other people for a long time to put this song in the album, I think he really wanted to share his feelings with us, with Army, REAL ARMY, it must be unbearable for him to kept these feelings so much that he has to turn it into a song to share with us. All of this, its just... so so sad and heartbreaking about how Jin feels and what he has been through, we usually see his happy and cheerful side but he's just a human like us, he also has his difficulties....
