Regrets - Social Optimists [angst]

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Social Optimists - Ana (Webbsicles) x Mark Beaks

Ana's POV

"Mark?" I smiled, placing my bag down as I greeted my boyfriend. He was busy muttering to himself and typing away on his phone.

"Uhm... Mark?" I repeated, a bit concerned and unsure of why he was ignoring me. He didn't even glance up to look at me.

"MARK!" I shouted, a bit embarrassed from my sudden outburst. I scared him, making him fall over, out of his seat.

"Mark, I am so sorry about that!" I apologized, helping him up. He scowled and rolled his eyes, sitting back down in his seat and returning all of his attention to his phone.

I didn't want to accept it, but I knew what he was doing. I've known for a few months actually.

"Mark, why do you hide them from me?" I wondered, catching his attention. I could see that Mark was confused, yet a bit concerned.

"What are you talking about, Ana?" He asked. Ana. He never calls me by my name.

"I've known for months Mark. About them. About what you've been doing. Why don't you just tell me that you don't love me anymore. I didn't want to say anything at first. I hoped it was just a thing that you would get over. I guess I was wrong." I sighed. My heart ached, and Mark put his phone down, walking over to comfort me.

"I don't understand.." Mark said, still confused. He wrapped his arms around me, but I shoved him off, my eyes stained with tears.

"Why do you have to keep lying to me? I know about every single woman Mark. I know you don't love me. You've been using me. I can't stand it anymore." I admitted, Mark's expression turned to regret and sorrow. He knew what he had done was wrong.

"Ana... I-I.." He began, but I shushed him. I couldn't stand to hear his voice anymore.

"You know what, I don't want to hear it Mark. Whatever we had, it's over. I don't want to see you face again. Ever." I yelled at him, grabbing my things and storming out.

As the weeks passed by, I could barely stop thinking about him. Yes, he was a jerk, and yes, he broke my heart.

It's not my fault that every ad on my phone and every billboard sign had his face and company everywhere.

The more time went on, the harder it was to bare. Then, a knock came from my door. The door was opened, and the shadow and figure of my ex entered the room.

"Ana?" He called out, coming in closer. He used his phone as a flashlight, due to the lights being dark.

His expression changed to a horrified, sorrowful expression as he stared at my dead corpse that hung from a rope in my room.

Yes, I do regret killing myself. I could have made up with Mark and spent the rest of my life with him. Instead, my anger and sorrow told me to do it, as revenge. Seeing Mark in a mentally broken state was worse though. A lot worse.

That's when he saw it. My suicide note. I watched him break into tears as he read it. I had successfully broken Mark Beaks.

I never found my note too sad. Yet again, I'm not like everyone else.

Dear readers, I'm assuming that you'd like to know what I wrote. Well... here it is.

Many people say life is too short, so you might as well spend as much time living it. I'm not like those people.

I feel as if death is sometimes the answer, although it may just be my head telling me that. If you're reading this, then that means I took my life. But, why?

I'll tell you why. Mark Beaks, that's why.

He's a selfish jerk who manipulated me and my feelings, using me as a tool. Well Mark, if you actually care about me and find my dead body, which I doubt you will, if like you to know that I will always love you, no matter what you did to me.

I spent every day wanting you, but I knew you would never love me the way I loved you. That's why I killed myself. There was no place for me on this earth anyways, so thank you for making my short years here wonderful and yet terrible at the same time.

Enjoy your life Mark, I hope you will remember me when you move on...

~Ana

Have you ever made a mistake and wished you could reset everything? I just wish I could've stopped myself.

I didn't think he'd do it too.

I didn't think Mark would kill himself because I killed myself.

I was wrong though. He did...

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