reckless 【 the outsiders 】

twenty-one.

Her words still hung in the air and Dallas had yet to say anything besides what. It made Leigh a little nervous so she turned away from him. Somehow, not watching his reaction, or lack thereof, made her feel a teeny bit better.

"You're sure?"

The girl sighed, turning back around. "I'm gettin' fatter, I'm moody, I ain't had a period in months now, and my feet and boobs hurt all the time."

"Little bit in there that I didn't needa know."

"You can deal."

Lucky for him, he didn't even have to ask if it was his. Lucky because if he had, she might've lost it. Dallas could see he was on thin ice and now he could also see why. That said, he had nothing else to say, or rather so much to say that nothing was coming out.

"You just said you wouldn't leave so long as it's yours and it obviously is so you're stuck with me. And... her."

"They already told you what it was?"

"No, but I can just feel it. I know it's gonna be a girl."

Leigh could see his muscles loosening up and his eyes softened, something she'd only seen once before and it calmed her nerves, made her smile, even. "You scared?"

"Well, of course," she chuckled. The girl thought back to the time years ago, after both girls had started their periods. Dorothy's mother warned the both of them together: don't get busy with no boy; if you don't play your cards right, you'll have to endure the most painful experience of your life. It took both of them a while to understand what she meant. She also thought back to her mom, she knew she'd never treat her baby the way her mom treated her but she didn't really know what a good mom looked like. She worried that she wouldn't be one. She worried the little girl might hate her or may not respect her, or that she'd want nothing to do with her. She had to fill the silence. "You scared?"

He rolled his eyes and leaned against the wall across from Leigh's spot on the bed. He scoffed and lied, "No."

"Don't admit it if you want, babe. I know you're lyin'."

"Y'know, before I met you, I never would've thought I'd be okay with havin' a kid."

"I know. A lot's changed 'cause of me, huh?" She extended her hand towards Dallas and suddenly felt like crying: maybe it was the fact that everything went much better than she expected, maybe it was the realization that the guy she loved so much had made so much of a change, maybe it was the fact that she was pregnant and hormonal. She didn't want him to see her cry and grow awkward, so she decided she wouldn't say anything until the lump in her throat went away.

"You okay?" He questioned, holding her hand and taking a seat next to her. She didn't nod or shake her head. She didn't do anything but rest her head on his shoulder which somehow reassured him more. She shut her eyes tight to try and stop the tears but nothing could hold them back.

She collapsed into the bed keeping her eyes closed and her boyfriend followed still holding on to her hand and trying his best to ask if he could touch her stomach without it sounding too 'soft'. "There's nothing to feel yet, softie, but go ahead." So they were there, in near silence, him on his side and her lying on her back, legs crossed uncomfortably. He reached over and didn't know what to expect when touching her stomach but just the idea of what was inside left him with a tinge of excitement even though it still felt like the same stomach he was used to.

"Can we still--?"

"Yes, we can, Winston."

.

"I have a request for you, Dallas."

He had been sitting across from her, playing her in a series of poker games. There was a shift in the energy moments ago but he knew he'd have to become used to with the pregnancy mood swings. It was always serious whenever she said his name. "What?"

"My kid is not gonna grow up with a dad that's only half there, y'know?"

He shrugged, sitting down his hand and beginning to take peanut M&Ms from between them. "Sure."

"So you can't be... out, y'know? Like you used to. I don't want you to always be in and out of jail and out all night days at a time and stuff." She sat her cards down in the midst of the heavy conversation and revealed a straight flush which beat his four of a kind.

"I ain't been doin' much of that no more since I've been workin', you know that."

She bit her lip and held her pinky out to him, "Can you promise?"

"What, are we four?" he responds after a moment of thought. He'd never thought he'd be able to just give up everything he'd been used to since even before adolescence. That must've been what being in love would do to you: allow you to feel secure even when you're giving up everything you know; allow you to feel comfortable with giving it up for something better in the first place. He locked his pinky with hers and said in the most unconvincing but believable way: "I promise."

edited 12-29-21