he looks at her and he asks her / "where are you going?" / a cigarette dangling from his / lips / and she looks at him and she / frowns / and thinks for a moment / before deciding that / that is a question / easier answered in / past tense: / "where have you been?"
she paints an answer to the question and it goes like this:
a hallway -
dimly lit and stretching
for miles and miles, the kind of infinite
you are forced to accept,
it seemed
on those toddler legs that never
would carry her fast enough
to the cozy haven at the end.
a hallway -
carrying a mix of
lazy puffs from cigarettes, laundry detergent,
and the sweet tang of familiarity
that in her tongue is now foreign
and strange
and stings to swallow.
a hallway -
the only thing standing between
her and home.
she dips her paintbrush in the next colour on her palate, the warmest orange, and continues:
"i am home, i thought, and stood in wonder at the thought"
perogies on the stove and
a cold marble floor underneath her feet.
no longer the scent of smoke and
instead a fusion of
something she cannot remember but knows was there
(she paints it anyway).
wooden cabinets and wicker baskets and washcloths,
shaggy carpet between her toes and an outdated computer
and presents tucked under her pillowcase
"from the sock eater," Baba says
and she nods solemnly, automatically accepting this fable.
christmas dinner on the table and
a supernova of presents and decorations and
knickknacks crammed in every nook and cranny and
PC games (look-and-find ones were always her favourite) in the corner and
Love - so much love crammed into this tiny apartment it seems that there
shouldn't be room for more
but there is
and there it is on her canvas - an abundance of likely the most love she will ever know and there it is written on the ceiling and masked in her childhood and carved in the walls and hidden under the tables,
do you see it?
(it doesn't last)
her work of art ends / abruptly / (as did her home) / and it is time for her / paintbrush and palate and easel to / retire and so she stashes / it away with the rest / of her old paintbrushes.
