Our little secret [IN PROGRESS⚠️]

Noah

8:00 pm

     Practice ended 30 minutes ago and I'm in the locker room listening to sad men whine about their lack of play. The "family" has a pretty tight bond as of late but it doesn't come without its own set of problems. They get too comfortable and before you know it, anything is game. I've had to listen to 3 breakup sob stories in the past week and it was only thursday. Tiff hasn't been answering my phone calls and I'm supposed to be taking her home again. She has her own car but for some reason she insists that we carpool. Therefore making me wait an extra 30 minutes for her to leave the campus.

     "Every night I was there. I mean, yeah I didn't want to but why sacrifice my happiness for some chick who doesn't even kiss me in public?" Some freshmen pouted. I wanted to groan and I almost did, until I realized they were all looking at me for some response. I cleared my throat before nodding my head.

     "Yeah no, I uh.. Get that. Be happy, follow your heart. You're only hurting her more if you keep up a front."

     They all looked like they had this expression on their faces like I spoke the word of god, but all I did was recite my brother word for word. Plus, this shit was common knowledge but I guess these are freshmen, they don't know shit half the time. My bro was big on shit like this, I never cared much. Before they asked me another question, Tiff finally called me back. Knowing this was a bomb waiting to blow, I excused myself from the locker room and into the empty storage room.

     "Tiff? I've been calling you for 20 minutes."

     "Yeah, but did you see I was calling you for 30? You didn't even tell me you had practice today!"

     "You know practice doesn't automatically stop after a break Tiff."

     "Whatever just come pick me up. I'm at the front of the Hillside."

     Click.

     I stare at her contact info for a second before going to my contacts list. I haven't done this in a while and everytime I think about the last time a shiver runs up my back, a feeling I haven't felt in a damn long time and fuck- I'd do anything to get that back. My thumb hovers over his contact but I know the irreversible damage this is going to cause. Tiff and I would be done completely and I'd have to chase after someone who most likely doesn't like me at all anymore. But for once I don't think. I press send and thrust my phone into my pocket, forcing myself to think about something else so I don't pussy out and apologize right over the phone. Luckily Tiff was able to pull me to my senses with a couple of texts. The sound alone reminded me how much I needed a fresh start.

     Grabbing my bag, I leave without a formal goodbye and head to the parking lot. He starts to run through my mind again and I couldn't help but let myself remember those moments. His smile, his touch, his voice. Everything at once was coming back to me and I don't know if it was the sudden shit weather that induced this but I couldn't stop thinking about him. I craved him. It felt weird to think about, the want to go back to a relationship from over 3 years ago but I knew I was the one to blame for our fall out. I was insecure and stupid enough to ruin a good thing and now here I am wanting another chance. Was he willing to try again with me? The obvious answer would be no but maybe he wanted that excitement back too. It really was that weak hope that fueled every thought I've had since I saw him at the mall. His hair was still that pretty fluffy long like years ago. It was so soft, he loved running his hands through them. He grew an inch or so, I really couldn't tell from far away but his smile was still as perfect as I remembered. That's when I knew I'd do anything to make him smile like that again.

     By the time I got to the front, Tiff was sitting pretty, engrossed in her phone. I never knew how our relationship became in the first place, it was always such a blur. All I knew was that she was after him and that was all a blur. She was sweet and all, but she only really cared about how much better she looked than everybody else and apparently I'm the perfect accessory. Flattering but still.

     The ride back home was silent. Tiff was obviously pissed and I couldn't care less to start up a conversation. She wasn't going to answer me anyway. That's how this little game went everytime I did something wrong; she clams up and I have to pry her open for the answer unless I want neverending attitude. It wasn't a particularly fun game to play and I did not want that as our topic of discussion.

     "So... how was class?" I started, tapping my fingers on the steering wheel.

     "You know, I never thought I'd say this but you really are a dick."

     My mouth would've dropped open but we've had this very argument so many times I could care less what would come up after. I always lost in the end. There was an uncomfortable silence for a bit before I let out a sigh. She didn't seem too pleased with my lack of silence and we still had 20 minutes left of the drive

     "Look, we've already established that I'm a dick. I thought we would've gotten past that. And I really was at practice today, you know I can't stop for shit with Cormak."

     "Do you really think I give a fuck about that?"

     "Then what's the matter because I really don't have a clue."

     Tiff let out a sarcastic laugh before picking up her phone and angrily typing away.

     "Here, clue this: I want a break effective immediately. No fucking, no kissing, no touch, nothing. You think I'm just something to fuck and I'm tired of defending you. Drop me home then leave right after, someones coming over."

—----

     "Fuck! More please... I'm so-"

     It didn't take more than half a thrust for Tiff to grab any part of me she could as she shook softly, her legs wrapped around my waist tight. It took a lot not to snort right in front of her, that wouldn't be too classy. Besides, Tiff had her own insecurities, best not make an ass of myself now. She was now panting softly, her head thrown back onto the pillows. Guilt was swirling inside my gut and I didn't know how close I was before I actually made an ass of myself. I pulled out quickly, the condom empty and walked towards the bathroom. I just needed a couple minutes to calm myself down before going back out to her. I figured an apology would be in order first. 

     Once I took some deep breaths and washed my face with some cold water, I was ready to go back out. I had never walked off before without saying anything to her and I knew she'd pick up on that, so when I had come out I was almost not surprised at the fact that all my drawers were upturned and she was gone.

     I was only in the bathroom for 5 minutes, but by the time I went downstairs to look for her, she was on my front porch lighting a cigarette. All the stuff she could carry in a couple of plastic bags laid at her feet. This was the end.

     "Thanks for a good last fuck. I really needed it to clear my conscience."

      I only nodded, the cool night air starting to punish me for my lack of clothes. Someone pulled into my driveway 5 silent minutes later and Tiff was down those stairs within seconds. This wasn't the first time she left like this, precious Tiff with her cigarette and blonde highlights. What was new was this feeling of relief. Like I wouldn't have to deal with this empty relationship anymore. I still sent her a text to let me know when she got home, but I was sure that the guy picking her up was home for the night. I stayed outside for a little while after the car disappeared over the horizon, letting the wind rest my thoughts before I turned back in for the night. Almost as if on cue, he popped up in my head. I wondered if he saw my text but I already knew the answer to that.