Lola

3

Cam

It's frustrating, having come to the pier to be with one of my favourite people and ending up stuck with one of my least favourites. Dani is surprisingly silent after my response, and doesn't ask me more about how I knew Lola. Part of me is glad, as a heart-to-heart with Dani Chapman is very low on my list of fun activities, but I am also bitterly disappointed at the missed opportunity to guilt  her for the scheme to embarrass me that I'm sure came from the minds of her and Caitlyn.

Not only was it planned to humiliate me, but it also caused Lola - tough-as-nails Lola - to have a nervous breakdown in the middle of a cafe. Lola might be gone, but I'm still here and I have no qualms about seeking revenge on her behalf. Now that she's not here to insist on keeping our friendship a secret, I can make sure the world knows how she was treated, and what kind of a person she really was.

I stand and clear my throat obviously and she turns to look at me again.

"Something to say?" She inquires, standing to meet my eyes. I can't help but feel like she's sizing me up.

"Do you remember last year, when we had that nightmarish science project on polymers?"

"Unfortunately, yes. How is this relevant exactly?"

"Caitlyn wanted my work to copy. She knew I was topping chemistry."

"So did you let her?" It is clear that Dani expects me to say yes.

"No."

The proceeding silence is uncomfortable.

I swear I see her gulp with nerves. "So what did we - uh - she do to you?"

"I'm not sure whose idea it was, but Lola was told to take me on a date and butter me up, only to let me down and humiliate me."

"I see."

"Do you recall such a plan?"

The silence is again uncomfortable, but this time I relish it.

She mumbles under her breath. "I do...recall Caitlyn mentioning it. Did she do it?"

I look her dead in her shit-brown eyes and I do not smile. "She did, that is until she broke down crying with guilt about fifteen minutes into the date and told me everything."

She flushes red and looks at the floor. "That wasn't my idea."

"But you knew it was happening?"

Her hesitation tells me all I need to know. I nod, unsurprised. "Mmm."

Though my blood boils, I am satisfied that she's had to face at least a part of Lola's reality.

Dani

Just in case my day hadn't been bad enough after attending the funeral of my best friend, I am now being lectured by a complete stranger for actions that took place a year ago and weren't my fault. It's not fair. Lola and I were both manipulated by Caitlyn. We both went along with it. We were each other's support because we were the only people who could truly understand the other's situations. If this "Cam" is trying to imply that I drove Lola to end it all, I won't have it.

"There's no need to guilt me like that. You don't know what Caitlyn is like."

"You don't know what it was like to watch a tough girl like Lola break down after being manipulated into doing things that she didn't want to do."

The shame in my face is quickly replaced by anger. "Maybe not, but I know what it's like to be that girl!"

He stares at me blankly, and I can see the fire is his eyes dying away. I feel as though he is about to comfort me, but instead he promptly turns on his heel and starts walking back up the pier. It's jarring to watch him travel in the exact opposite direction to where Lola went, and I know that every time I leave the edge of St Kilda Pier, I will feel like I'm leaving her behind. The thought of it is too much to bear, so I sit back down on the pier, dangling my legs over Lola's watery grave.

If I just close my eyes and let my mind wander, I can almost see her floating to the surface and climbing up to sit on the pier beside me - dripping wet and rubbing her eyes after a refreshing dip in the sea. Lola never sat like a lady. She leans back on her hands and lets her legs dangle comfortably wherever they fall. She is squeezing the water from her black t-shirt as it clings to her with the weight of the sea, and small pieces of seaweed are strewn across her skirt, fishnet-stocking-clad legs and signature lace-up black boots. Her hair is the same flaming magenta that it was the day I last saw her.

I smile madly at her wet, raggedy image like she's a million dollars. "Long time no see."

She kicks her legs above the water and her voice still rings clearly in my mind. Hey stranger.

I can picture every detail of her face so clearly, and I scrutinize each one and cling onto them desperately, for fear that I might one day forget them. "Why did you leave me?"

Her laughter rings in my ears. I haven't gone anywhere, dumbass.

"You died, Lola. You drove off this pier a week ago."

Her smirk seems so real, and I let myself believe that it is, even if it's only for a second. I know. But I'm still here haunting you, aren't I? Ooooooooo...

I chuckle, despite the nonsensical situation. It's only when I reach out to try and touch her that my hand falls through the salty air and snaps me back to reality.

Cam

I storm down the pier with a toxic concoction of mixed emotions churning in my stomach. Was I out of line? Or perhaps I was too mild. I've never been good at confrontation, and it's difficult to know where to start and when to stop.

Was Dani manipulated by Caitlyn as much as Lola was? I guess I'll never really know.

The cool, salty air nips at my skin and I wish I had brought a jacket. There is no point staying with Lola while Dani is still there. I can't talk to her like that.

As I drive home, I struggle to decipher exactly what I'm feeling. I am angry - I know that much for sure. But the heavy sickness in my stomach that has been present since I gave Dani a piece of my mind remains unexplained. Perhaps it's from the adrenaline of confrontation, something that I don't often experience. Or maybe it's guilt and shame at how I've treated someone whose friend just died. I swallow down the acidic taste that fills my mouth as I pull into the driveway.

My parents and sister leave me be which I am grateful for. At times like this, it's difficult to know what to say. I trudge upstairs and flop down onto my bed, despite it only being early afternoon. My phone vibrates insistently in my pocket, and I realise that I have missed a multitude of messages from Kel, Mara and Zig.

Kel: Where are you??? As soon as the service ended you just disappeared!

Mara: We're worried sick, just text us xx

Zig: Brother, just tell us where you are. We're freaking out a little here.

Did I really not see them after the service? My mind has been overflowing since I found out about Lola's death, and I wrack my brains to try and recall. I don't remember staying to socialise or attending the reception - that would only lead to questions from people who believe I had no place in Lola's life. I must have driven straight to the pier.

I send them all a weak apology and tell them I'm home safe. I hate the fact that my short-term disappearance worried them so much. Surely they know I wouldn't follow Lola over the edge. But I suppose we all thought that Lola would never go over the edge in the first place. Secretly, I'm not sure that she did.

There must be something I'm missing. Either something that drove her over the edge, or something else that killed her. Whatever it is, I need to find it. I can't live without knowing what went though her head in those last moments - if she was so distraught by an incident that she couldn't cope any longer, or if something - or someone - made sure she ended up in that water one way or another.

The trouble with being so separate from the rest of Lola's life is the lack of information I have about her everyday experiences, other than what she has told me. Somehow, I need to uncover everything, and for that I need information. A solution nags at my mind and I struggle to shut it down. Dani.

I've already spoken more to Dani Chapman in this week than I ever intended to in a lifetime, but she might just be my only hope - or at least a starting point.

I roll onto my stomach and clutch at my pillows, dreading the plights that tomorrow will bring. School is back in - and Dani Chapman is my new assignment.