Lola

23

7/10

Hey there, it's me. You know - the dead one? 

That's right, it's Lola Bailey coming to you straight from the afterlife. Well, assuming there is one. Who knows? I suppose I probably do at this point. Spooky, huh?

I thought I should probably check in with you all before I go. I guess a lot of you are probably pretty confused right now - or not. It's all a bit clichéd, isn't it? The dark and moody chick with the wild hair pitches herself off a pier into the deep sea. Well, don't worry. I didn't have some kind of twisted dysfunctional upbringing or shady involvement with drugs. Nope - as far as lives go, my past was as clean as a whistle. It was only recently that things started going downhill.

I'm sure you all know firsthand that school can be rough. It's just a fact of life. But recently, things started getting worse. Quite a bit worse. I don't want to name names, there's no point stirring up drama in a world where I don't exist anymore - it's pointless. All it would do is ruin other people's lives, and I'd prefer to keep the ruined-lives count as low as possible.

What I will say is that secrets never die. Secrets can eat you up inside, live inside your head and taunt you throughout the day. Secrets can manifest into a little devil on your shoulder, and whisper in your ear until you go insane. Secrets will pretend to be your friends, and have you believe that they're helping you, when really they just want to devour you slowly. My secrets turned me into a mutant version of myself - a person who wasn't really real. A person with too many sides. My secrets changed my life for the worst, and pinned me against people with whom I always got along.

I had secrets. I'm sure you've worked some of them out by now, or the interesting ones at least. You probably haven't worked out that my favourite cereal was secretly Frootloops, even though I was too embarrassed to admit it. But, that's probably not of great relevance right now.

Despite my secrets, there were two people besides my wonderful parents who always stuck by me. And again, I don't want to call people out, but you two will know who you are. D and C. You two were incredible. You distracted me from the little voices in my head, telling me how the world was crashing down around me. You seemed to keep liking me through thick and thin, whether or not it did you any good. I guess part of what fueled me to make my choice was the guilt of keeping two awesome people such as yourselves around me all the time, when I'm not exactly the healthiest person to associate with. I didn't deserve you two, but thank you. Thank you for making a good chunk of my life a lot of damn good fun.

Anyway, if I could leave you all with a few little messages, this is what I'd say. Don't keep secrets. Don't fall into the classic trap of involving yourself in petty schoolyard drama. It may look like a sunny beach, but it's a sea of quicksand that'll swallow you up in an instant. And finally, don't dwell on this. So what? I took a long drive off a short pier. People die everyday. I'm happy now, and I want you to be too. In fact, go eat some Frootloops. They really are bloody delicious.

Oh, and don't forget - secrets never die.

Yours ghostfully,

Lola Bailey