All We Thought // Ashton Irwin [AU]

Chapter 31: Contemplation and Contradiction

"So tell me a little bit about yourselves."

I don't know why people go to therapy, when the room itself is enough to make one want to go to a psychologist.

The room had all white walls and was extremely claustrophobic.  My knees where practically touching the desk and I had scooted farthest away from Evan as possible, which was a mere 4 inches.  The therapist didn't have one ounce of color on neither did she have one photo, poster, or memento anywhere in the room.

Could she get any plainer?

I stared at the middle aged women, with her glasses perched on her nose as she looked between me and Evan anticipating an answer.  Evan was more mature than me and started first.

"Well as you obviously know my name is Evan Townsend. and I am a director of a large corporate business."

For some reason, my anger instantly spiked to a new level.  I think it was a combination of being somewhere I didn't want to be, far from home and knowing that soon everything was going to turn into a mess in this session in a matter of minutes.

The therapist looked in my direction.  I practically had to refrain from rolling my eyes and snickering at his clique answer.  She had this enormous folder in front of her, why start with stupid things like this when you have everything in front of you?

That's what reading is for.

"My name is Roxie Winslet and I'm a research lab technician and mentor..." I was going to  keep talking but I was rudely interrupted.

Evan snorted, "You just had to throw mentor in there."

I shot him a glare, "Because that's what I am.  I get paid a bonus every month for being a mentor, so yes it's part of my job." 

I didn't tell Ashton that I got paid because then he would think I only enjoy mentoring him for the money.  He tended to get pretty defensive quickly, especially when it came to people using him potentially.

The therapist nodded and jotted down a few notes, "So you both have very demanding jobs it seems.  How does that play a role in your relationship?"

I scuffed, "Well I don't know really about Evan's work because what I use to think were business trips and late nights at the office turned out to be rendezvous with my best friend and probably other women in the office for all I know."

Well my maturity was just thrown out the window, and I really didn't give two shits.

The therapist looked stunned.  I just sat back, crossed my arms with a big smirk on my face.  

She cleared her throat, "Mrs. Winslet, these sessions are used to resolve problems civilly so that all parties can feel like they are free to speak in a judgment free environment.  Please do not chastise Evan or draw assumptions..."

I stood up, "Draw assumptions?  Seriously?  My best friend admitted it was true!  Evan even slipped and told me!  How is that an assumption?  Maybe people should stop assuming that I'm the insane one and that I need help when it's everyone around me who needs a damn shrink."

 And with that, I stormed out of the room.

Technically that wasn't the smartest choice, considering I didn't have a room key or anywhere to go.

We only got one room key which Evan took immediately when the desk manager handed it to him.  Apparently, one room key would teach us how to communicate more and learn that a relationship required compromise. 

Who knew a room key could be so meaningful.

I walked outside to a luckily wonderfully sunny warm day.  The so called "resort" where the whole marriage/relationship counseling hell was being held was right next to a beach.  I swear I somehow always ended up on the beach.  I don't know how, it just happened and I was always more than okay with it.

The boardwalk was small where you could practically see the end of it from standing right where it began.  It was pretty deserted besides a few tiny shops that sold the usual beach stuff and a couple of restaurants.  

The boardwalk would probably be the only place where I would be able to have space to myself.  We weren't even allowed to have separate rooms at the resort.  The room only had one bed and had enough dresser space for one person.

Clearly they were really reinforcing the whole "couples need to share" concept and all I wanted to do was be selfish.

I was pretty immature to storm out of the session and act like I did, but my anxiety got the best of me.  I'm so sick of seeing everyone pity Evan and look at him like he's the angel but in reality he was the one who started this mess.  

The sad part was that Ashton was always in constant blame, no matter what the situation is.  Ashton really had nothing to do with this, and that's the ironic part.

Everyone keeps blaming this on him when in actuality Evan had been talking to Amber way before Ashton became my intern.  

Sad how some people cannot see their own faults so they blame it on others.

Ashton and I hadn't talked since our discussion at the parking valet.  I know he was upset that I didn't agree to live with him, but it was such a huge choice to make.  If I agreed, my parents wouldn't let me take any of my stuff (they claimed they bought me everything even though they often forget I receive a paycheck).  I would just be leaving with the clothes on my back.

My internal fear of having nothing would come true, and that's what scared me the most.

I turned around to see Evan with his hands shoved in his suit pockets heading toward me.   I wrapped my arms around myself and turned away to face a few seagulls on the beach scavenging for food.

He put his hands on my shoulders gently, "You know, a couple therapy session isn't very effective when only one half of the couple is there."  His tone was light and playful in attempts to soothe my anger.

I quickly wiped an angry tear away that had escaped from the corner of my eye as he continued to talk.

"We really need to start over Roxie."

Those words: start over...that's exactly what I needed.  A fresh slate, a clean piece of paper without any eraser markings, a fresh start was truly needed.

"I know that's what I need.  I just, I just don't know if I can start over." I stated.

Was it possible to start over when life kept scarring you over and over?  Could someone really forget the past and erase all the memories?

Evan wrapped his arms around me as I stood there frozen for a second, unsure of how to proceed.  I took a deep breath, inhaling the clean scent of his clothes and the faint smell of the cologne I bought him for Christmas.

My anger diminished slightly as I felt my shoulders relax along with the rest of my muscles.

For the first time in months, I returned the gesture by wrapping my arms around him as more tears began to prick my eyes.

Evan was always the one that I ran to for comfort before Ashton came along.  It was like an instant flashback of to how everything was perfect and just so.

Maybe taking the easy way out would be the best route for me and for everyone else.

Evan rested his chin on the top of my head as he held me tight, "Do you remember the last time we were at the beach?"

I smiled as my face was still buried in his chest, "Of course.  Who could forget that?  We thought it was going to be a beautiful day and it ended up being a huge storm.  We were so soaked and I was angry at my mom for a week for telling us the wrong day to go to the beach."

We both laughed as I stepped back from his grasp and my eyes met his.  His eyes seemed to have a glimmer of hope in them, almost like he thought that we were going to be okay.

"Common, let's head back." he suggested as he intertwined his fingers with mine.

I smiled as we headed down the boardwalk back to the resort.  If I wanted a clean slate then I was going to have to be truthful.  

 I needed to tell him about Ashton.

Roxie is so damn confused!  There will be a shocking surprise in the next chapters.  I cannot wait.  This book is coming to a close soon I think so please vote to show how much you will miss it!