Close To Me

Chapter 17

"I have a meeting tonight, then a photoshoot and interview tomorrow. But then the next day, I was thinking about pushing our flight to the evening and taking my girl to Disneyland," Chris said to the sleepy Blake over their bowls of cereal breakfast in his L.A. home.

"DISNEYLAND!" She immediately was wide awake. "Um yes please!"

"I thought you might like that," Chris leaned over the counter to kiss her sweetly. "I'm glad you came with me this weekend."

"Hey, I'll take L.A. sunshine in January over all the snow back home," Blake replied before adding, "I guess you're okay too. So that was a small part in my decision making."

"Oh a small part, huh?" He came around to stand in front of the stool she was sitting on and put a hand on the counter on either side of her, trapping her between his thick arms.

"A very small part," She teased as her hands rested on either side of his bearded face and brought him in for a kiss.

Almost immediately, Chris deepened their kiss to which Blake happily reciprocated. Her long legs wrapped around his hips and held her tight up against his bulky frame, wanting to feel as much of her as he possibly could. Blake's hands got lost in his thick hair as his hands wandered up under the old tee shirt she had slept in and wandered.

As his passionate kisses moved to her neck, she tilted back, allowing him access to kiss and suck along her soft skin. A moan escaped Blake's lips but before they could get any farther, Dodger bounced at Chris' feet, barking and whining for attention.

"Pal, I love ya, but go away right now," Chris tried to shoo him.

"He needs some exercise," Blake said, hating to hear his poor whimpers.

"So do I!" Chris whined.

She just laughed at him while slapping his shoulder before untangling her limbs from around him. Blake kneeled down and rubbed behind Dodger's ear, causing his tail to wag before she asked him, "Are you ready for your walk, Dodger?"

"Okay we can take him to the park down the road really quick, but when we get back, I'm picking up where I left off," Chris sent her the kind of smile that made a shiver run down her spine.

Blake put a hand on the back of his neck and passionately crashed her lips to his, leaving him breathless as she smiled, "Deal."

The two quickly changed, each pulling on some sweatpants and tennis shoes. Blake put on one of her oversized sweatshirts and slipped a baseball cap on top of her messy curls, not bothering with any makeup for the morning walk.

Chris held Dodger's leash as they walked him down the park that was a few blocks away and then unhooked him, letting him run around the nearly empty park. After Chris threw a ball for the dog to fetch, he put his arm around Blake, bringing her in for a sweet kiss.

"Did you hear that?" She asked the moment that they parted. "That clicking noise?"

"I heard it too," He acknowledged.

The two scanned the area and Chris found the source of the noise. There were a group of three men with big cameras, eagerly snapping pictures of the celebrity. It was the first time he and Blake had been out in L.A. as a couple and he silently cursed himself for kissing her in public but he hadn't seen anyone and didn't think that the early morning in the park would be a threat.

"Let's go," Chris motioned to the cameras, alerting Blake to what was going on.

Blake quickly called Dodger over and put his leash back on. Chris put his arm around Blake and she pulled her baseball cap down farther. The couple hurried out of the park and when they passed the paparazzi that were yelling for their attention, Chris pulled her tighter against his side to try to shield her from the cameras.

Once they were safely back to Chris' house, he instantly apologized, "I'm so sorry Blakey, I didn't think they would be there."

"Chris it's not your fault. You have no control over it," She replied. "Do you think those pictures will be on the internet?"

"Probably, but let's just ignore it, okay?" He put a finger under her chin, forcing her to look up into his kind blue eyes.

Blake just nodded, earning her a kiss before Chris' phone started ringing. He ended up having to go to his meeting early, leaving Blake alone with Dodger. She occupied herself for the next few hours by cleaning up the house, playing with Dodger, and organizing her calendar but the entire time, she couldn't stop thinking about those pictures.

Her curiosity got the best of her and she opened her laptop, goggling Chris' name and she found the most recent article from two hours ago. Blake clicked on it and saw the photo at the top of them kissing. She then scrolled down and found the rest of them playing with Dodger and then hurrying out of the park.

Did those sweatpants always make me look that fat? Oh god, my hair is such a frizzy mess. Why didn't I wear makeup and something cute?

The article speculated who Captain America's new girlfriend was but didn't say very much, just mostly posted the photos that were taken. Blake breathed a sigh of relief but she realized her relief was short lived when she scrolled down to the comments.

'What in the world is he doing with her? She looks like something the cat drug in.'

'She her makes me realize I actually do have a chance with him!'

'Chris was better off with Minka, at least she was pretty.'

'Does she actually think she has a chance with him?'

'What is Chris doing with HER? He could have anyone!!!'

These type of comments went on for pages and Blake read each one. By the end, tears were cascading down her cheeks endlessly. For the past few months that they had been together, she had been so engulfed in her desperate love for Chris that she hadn't actually thought about what him being with her meant. She was no actress or beauty queen. She wouldn't look beautiful on his arm for premieres, and wasn't talented in the same way he was. She was nothing special and he was everything special and she saw how foolish she had been to think she was anything different.

Blake felt as though all of those comments were true. She thought about all of Chris' exes and she wasn't strong and passionate like Jessica. She wasn't fashionable like Christina. She absolutely was no beautiful model like Vida. She wasn't elegant like Diana. She wasn't gorgeous and talented Mika.

She was just Blake. She felt as though she wasn't talented, far from beautiful, rather plain, told dumb jokes, was too stubborn, had a boyish figure, terribly clumsy, wore sweatpants too often, was much too sassy, and frankly, what could she offer Chris that he couldn't get from someone that was 10 times what she was.

She was a fool to think that Chris could really love her. That she could be what he wanted or needed. Chris deserved someone much better than her and she knew it, but it crushed her heart to think of that.

Blake stuffed everything she brought for the few days in L.A. back into her backpack. She called a cab and got in the back, telling the driver to take her to the airport before she booked a flight on her phone. She wanted to go home.