The Cocky Hockey Captain

Chapter 27 ● Kiss Without The Cam

Once I made it outside I took a deep breath that brought the stench of frying oil into my lungs. It was still better than sitting in there. Fake as our relationship had been, that was one hell of a way to cut it off. And the fact that she hadn't included me in the plan made the whole thing sting.

I wasn't slow, I got the gist of it. I couldn't get any closer to Dean while still fake-dating her. But I also didn't see how this would really help my case with him when he'd been in the front row of the drama.

The sudden hand that fell on my shoulder made me jump a mile high. I turned around and my heart stopped beating, because speak of the devil and he shall appear.

"Are you okay?" Dean asked, his brow creased and his body stiff.

I had to close my eyes and shake the thoughts off my mind, because I knew I was vulnerable to putting my foot in my mouth at that moment.

"I think so," I said, and that was the absolute truth.

Dean ran a hand through his hair, pulling at it slightly as he looked off to the side. "That was, um, very awkward."

I gave a weird laugh. It was the kind that screamed for a hug.

"You're telling me."

I spotted a bench close to the restrooms and parked my ass on it with a sigh. Dean joined me and for a few minutes we watched people as they came and went, most wearing jerseys from the local team and a few from the visitors. I rested my elbows on my knees watching a couple around my age. The girl flipped her long hair as she looked up at her boyfriend, who was telling her a story that kept making her laugh. His arm was around her, his hand firmly on her hip as if it couldn't possibly be apart from her.

I hadn't realized until that moment that that was what I wanted. Something simple, where everybody knew exactly what was what. It didn't matter how much Lena Lee tried to help. The fact of the matter was that I was a girl interested in a boy, who was interested in me, but thought I was a boy. My lies had check mated me even before I realized I was in the game.

"I'm sorry," he said. I looked at Dean and found that he'd also been eyeing the same couple. His blue eyes met mine. "I hope this wasn't because of me."

Oh, it absolutely was.

Yet, I figured he was meaning something different.

I shook my head. With a deep swallow I told him, "No, it isn't. I never told her." I cringed as I realized it made me sound like a cheating boyfriend. I lifted my hands. "It's just, nothing really happened and um, she and I were already have problems, so..."

He clasped his hands in between his legs and looked forward, toward the entrance that led to our seats.

"Nothing happened?" he asked. I felt ice trickle down my spine at the way he said this. "Maybe nothing happened to you, but something definitely happened to me."

"Uh, that's not what I mean-" The look on his face stopped me. He was grinding his teeth so hard that the muscles in his jaws jumped. I took a deep breath. If Lena Lee didn't kill me, eventually he would.

"I've never felt this way for another guy before," he said, now looking down at his hands. I noticed they were clasped so tightly that his knuckles turned white. "Granted, I've never exactly been girl crazy, but I was pretty comfortable with the idea of one day getting a partner — female. We might not have kissed," he said, lifting his face just enough to look me dead in the eye. "But everything's changed for me."

I tucked my chin against my chest and bit my lip to stop myself from blurting out what I wanted to say. Me too, I wanted to say. Nothing was the same since I met you, I wanted to tell him. I want you, too.