Stop. Just Stop.

Unknown povs

Unknown POV

Charlie Brown, that little shit. She's mine! No one else's...

I watched as she kissed him. Ick! He obviously doesn't like her, he likes me, the crazy ex who's hiding behind the shrubs.

"The plan is in motion," my helper told me. I cackled like Ursula from The Little Mermaid, scaring him off. Yes! My evil plan is working, I rubbed my palms together like Plankton. Cue thunder and lightening.

I'm sorry, but whenever I see unknown povs, I resist the urge to delete that book immediately.

Like, can you not?

That is one thing in my endless list of reasons why my interest in a book slowly starts to fade away. Why, author, why?!

The genre turns from Romance/Teen Fiction to Mystery/Suspense.

Please don't.

And, why is it almost always a girl? We're not that coo coo bananas! I'll have you know that I am 100 percent "normal".

Pfft!

I just snorted.

I fibbed just a bit.

But, seriously though, I've always wanted a secret admirer, but I don't want them to "get rid" of my boyfriend. Lord knows it was a miracle for someone to even walk up to me.

Believe me, we're not that hung over you to where we'd hire a kill squad for your girl.

But, doesn't it just annoy you when it's a relatively normal book, and then BOOM. A blocked number calls your girlfriend's cell phone in a shady voice saying...

"I will find you, and I will kill you". *Liam Neeson voice*

No, sir.

You will not find me.

And, you certainly will not kill me.

Do you know who you're talking to? I know Whoopyoass! Come at me, bro!

And, most of the time, us readers know who that "unknown" is. Like, it's obviously Esteban Julio Montoya De La Rosa Ramirez from 3 chapters ago.

Who else?

Oooooh, and I hate it when after the "unknown" is finished threatening, your dumb ass asks "who is this".

Were you really expecting them to answer that?

Oh, it's just Jake from State Farm.

Ugh, I got off track didn't I?

Damn.

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?

The world may never know...

Um, actually, I know. It takes 1,873 licks to get to the center. Oh, you can thank me later...