Chapter 33

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Maybe he can survive if he runs fast enough. If he slams his feet into the earth so quick that it hurts, pushes his body to limits that make his muscles scream, breathes so hard that his lungs collapse. Maybe then he can beat the part of himself that'll be the death of him.

The little beach Kahoot ends up at is deserted; no sun, no sunbathers, and no swimmers, either. He grits his teeth against the wind numbing his cheeks. It hurts like a slap to the face so he slows to wrestle with his hood, but he's going too fast and his foot is off balance and the sand under his converse isn't the best mobilizer. The sand parts as he smashes into it, his chilly hands still grasped around his hood.

"Ow," Kahoot whispers feebly. He pushes himself up, but from that point of view the ground looks much more desirable, so he just lets his arms collapse and bring him back down. He lays still as the Earth holds him. Filling his lungs to full capacity makes them feel like two balloons about to pop, but he does it anyways, breathing silently with his eyes slammed shut.

***

An assortment of techno music fills the air as your phone starts vibrating. You smile and answer.

"Hey, Kahoot. What's up?"

"...Hi." His voice comes out in a whisper.

"Kahoot? Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, hi. Um. You know the beach a block away from the hospital? Can you come meet me here?"

"Why?"

"Just...please." Kahoot's tone normally sounds like one of a child who's had too much candy. Right now, though, it's like that child is gone, replaced by a human with vacant eyes.

"I- uh, okay," you reply. "Okay. I'll be there in five minutes."

It's crisp outside, the world teetering between the last days of fall and the first day of winter. You adjust your hat as you trek along the beach. Kahoot didn't say where he'd be, so you scan your eyes across the sand, finally coming across a yellow lump in the distance. The closer you get, the more shape it takes on - the blurriness turns into a head, then a body, then legs. When the yellow turns into a very familiar hoodie, you break into a run.

"Kahoot! Are you okay?" You rush up to him, and when he spots you, he shoots you a crooked smile. He pushes himself up onto his elbows.

"Heya, y/n. I'm just marvellous. Wanna lie down?" He gestures to a sand indent beside him, sweeping his hand over the bed of minuscule rocks.

"Uh...sure." You settle down beside him. "How long have you been lying here?'

"A couple of hours. I haven't really kept track."

"You must be freezing!" you exclaim.

"Wanna warm me up?" Kahoot drawls, winking at you. You take off your hat and place it firmly on his head, covering his ears completely, and then wrap your arms around him. His body feels like lukewarm ice.

"You are freezing. What are you even doing out here?"

"Got in a car crash. Went to the hospital. Found out some stuff. Ran out here."

"Wait, what?" You push yourself up, and he whines at the loss of heat. "A car crash? Are you okay?"

"Yes. I'm fine. Enough with your questions, y/n. Can't we just lay here? I just want to lay here."

"Yeah, but. Kahoot. Are you sure you're okay?"

Kahoot sighs deeply. "If I tell you, can we go back to randomly cuddling on the sand in the middle of this beach after?"

You nod.

"Okay," he says. "Did you know that most brain tumours are found because of car accidents? They have to do MRIs if it's a bad enough crash, and that's when they find them...Do you see where I'm going with this?"

The wind rustles your hair. "No."

"I know you understand what I'm saying. It's inoperable, and I probably have, like, 5 years to live, and I hate the world. Can we just lie down now? Please?"

You stare at him. "No. This is a joke. A prank."

"It's not."

"This isn't funny, Kahoot."

He laughs, but there's no humour in it. "No shit. Anyway, you said that after I told you we could lie down, so, let's get on with that, yeah?"

"Kahoot," you say simply, still sitting up. His face cracks.

"Oh, man. I casually wanted to die for the past few years, y'know? That's a typical thing for this generation, right? Now I'm actually going to and reality is so different from fantasy." He kicks his shoe into the sand, sending a spray of it everywhere. "I'm going to be gone before I can even accept my own mortality and it's so stupid. It's all so stupid, y/n."

"I- Stop it. You're not going to die." You wrap your arms around him and finally lay down like Kahoot wanted. "It's fine. Everything's fine," you say, knowing very well that those are empty words that only serve to fill the air.

"I don't wanna die," he whispers.

"You're not going to."

"You'll remember me, right?" Kahoot pulls back to look at you. His eyes are frantic, searching, desperately trying to find something, anything, to tether to.

You think back to everything you've done together. Little glimpses of laughing, and running, and belonging. And then you think about the present. How his heartbeat is thudding like a humming bird's but still ever so present with yours. How he's here, and warm, and alive. Even if his life isn't certain, you know one thing that is.

"I won't ever forget you. I promise."

***

The call you made goes to voicemail. You press the glowing numbers again and make sure they're the right ones.

"Tinsley, this is an emergency. Pick up your phone."

Kahoot left an hour ago. His mom came to get him and he left without a fight, giving you a hug before hoping into his mom's truck. He came to the beach numb, turned angry, and left sad.

"Y'ello?"

"Tinsley. You know that magical power thing you claim to have? Have you ever cured any sicknesses with it?"

"Yes, I'm aware of what I claim. Why are you asking?"

"Just. Answer the question."

Tinsley sighs. "Kind of? I've never had the pleasure of acquiring the flu because I could always will away the symptoms. Why?"

"...Do you think you could cure an inoperable brain tumour?"

Tinsley's breath stills. "Y/n, do you- are you-"

"I'm fine. I'm asking for Kahoot."

You hear shuffling on the other end of the line. "Oh. I'm sorry. He seemed like a fine fellow."

You bite your nail. "Seems like a fine fellow."

"Yeah."

"So, can you?"

"I...well, I can try. It's not an exact science though."

"Okay."

There's a silence on both ends of the phone.

"Do you...want to talk about it?" Tinsley asks.

"I don't know," you sigh. "He says he wants me to remember him. Tinsley, he was talking like he's already dead. I just... it'd be better if he could be here and do that himself. We'd remember because we wouldn't forget."

"I really am sorry. I really will try."

"I know you will."

After he hangs up, you stare at your phone's dimly lit screen until the brightness burns your eyes. You turn your phone off hold it close to your chest.

"Please," you whisper.

The only answer is silence.

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