playing with fire | taerose 🌹

41.

He didn't answer.

Can you believe that?

I guess I can. It's been a while now. He's probably forgotten about me, although I haven't been able to get him off of my mind. I'm stupid, stupid to ever think that him and I would ever possibly talk again. You're so stupid, Rose. Incredibly stupid.

I should have known. Maybe Jungkook is right. I need to just leave it alone. And now I couldn't cry about it to him, because I can tell he is getting tired of hearing about it. But he was right. I don't listen, ever. Am I finally going to learn my lesson?

But this feeling...is a horrible feeling. I felt like I just made everything worse on me by trying to contact him. Why did I do something so stupid?

I felt tears start to stream. I sat in my dark room, tears beginning to become like tidal waves. They came flooding in.

I should have gave him the chance to speak, but I didn't. And now look where it landed me.

How stupid of me. He's over me. Done. It's time to move on. I need to just get happy. I have my brother and I have Jungkook, there was no other boys I needed in my life.

I gulped, trying to go along with my inner voice, telling me to be strong, that this is the end and that's okay.

Everything would be okay.

But it didn't feel okay. I have so many feelings, so many that I cannot act on. Feelings that I wanted to forget and for them to vanish in thin air. Why is falling in love so easy, yet falling out is nearly impossible?

Why must you linger on, Taehyung? After everything that was said and done, why must I still feel something for you? Why do I want to understand someone like you?

I sat with my face in my hands, tears falling after another. Maybe if I could cry all of this out, I would no longer feel anything for this boy. I wanted it all to go away.

Buzz.

Buzz buzz buzz.

I sat up, dropping my hands to my sides, looking at my phone that was lighting up and bouncing uncontrollably as it vibrated.

I picked the phone up, my eyes wandering over the screen.

It was him.

He's calling me back.

He's calling me back.

I answered the phones with shaky hands, bringing it up to my ear.

"Hello?" I answered, his call seizing my tears.

"Hey..." Taehyung spoke, his voice trailing just a bit with nervousness. "You called?"

"I did." I responded with a quivering bottom lip. His voice sent me into an overdrive of emotions. To hear his voice, the fact that he called me back, this is what I needed.

"Why are you crying, baby?" Taehyung asked.

He called me baby. My favorite nickname he's given me.