The North Star (B. Barnes & S. Rogers)

Chapter Two

Loki is cleared from medical three days later and with no explanation to his....episodes. He's had none since. He's starting to believe this might actually be all in his head, finally going insane after everything. Maybe it is all he deserves. He strokes Wanda's hair as she sleeps curled into his side but Loki can't sleep. His mind is...busy. He frowns and closes his eyes. Flickers of his childhood flash through his mind, laughter. Her laughter. His own. The girl that haunts him is his twin sister. Inseparable except for lessons. Best friends. Partners in crime. And the day it all went to Hel, he should have been with her. But he wasn't; more interested in learning magic then spending time with his sister that day. And then when it came to dinner and she was not sat at his side he knew something was wrong, she was always the first on there, the picture of innocence even know they all knew she'd been up to no good. But she hadn't been that day. He sat staring at her empty space next to him until even Odin got worried. He sent guards out at once. But by the next morning they all knew, they just knew. She was gone. And she was not coming back. Loki locked himself away. Thor hit stuff. And nothing was the same ever again. Loki kisses Wanda's forehead and then slips out of the bed, letting her snuggle into his pillows.

.............

Loki finds Bucky sitting at the counter drinking from a glass of water and eating ice cream, finding Bucky around at night is nothing new, but Bucky knows seeing Loki is, Bucky lifts an eyebrow at the 'god' out of bed at this hour. Loki walks in ignoring Bucky and heads to the fridge in front of Bucky.

"Heard you had a funny turn" Bucky offers, Loki grunts a little as he grabs the bottle of green soda from the fridge. "I know it's tough....coming out of the brainwashing and the torture..." Loki turns to him.

"Are you going to tell me it gets easier?" Loki asks him. "Tell me it'll all go away" he mocks slightly.

"It never goes away" Bucky corrects. "But sharing it....telling your friends, your brother....."

"I don't want to talk about it" Loki snaps. "It's no one else's business by mine"

"It is if whatever this is gets one of us hurt...or worse" Bucky scolds. "Because you couldn't talk about your feelings" Loki scowls at him.

"So I talk to you and it's all rainbows and unicorns?" Loki asks, Buck scoffs and stands.

"Do or don't, I don't actually care if you feel better, but I do care if you get Steve hurt..." Loki looks to his soda as Bucky starts walking away, closing his eyes Loki makes up his mind.

"I can't sleep, not because of my....turn or visions or..." Loki shakes his head and pauses as Bucky stops walking, Loki thinks about where or not he's going to talk about this, about her with this...stranger, because though they are team mates, and though they live together, to Loki Bucky is a stranger. But Thor did tell him to play nice, to let them get to know the real him. Bucky sits back down waits patiently, Loki needs someone to talk to and the others are more...hero then reformed villain. Bucky could be the person for Loki to open up too. "It wasn't my issues....it's" Loki clenches his jaw a little. "I was thinking about something else" Loki offers. "Did you know that Thor and I have a sister?"

"Yeah, Hela, right?" Bucky asks, Loki shakes his head.

"No, another one" he admits, Bucky raises an eyebrow, Loki moves around the counter and sits up a seat from Bucky. "Her name was Eirlys" Loki whispers keeping his eyes down. "She was my twin sister"

"What happened to her?" Bucky asks, Loki shrugs.

"No one knows" Loki looks to him. "She just....vanished. Odin looked for years, sent guards and soldiers across the realms to find her......"

"But nothing?" Bucky asks.

"But nothing" Loki agrees. "I've been thinking about her a lot recently" Loki offers. "Wondering what she would think of everything I did....."

"Thor forgave you" Bucky points out. "Time and time again, why would she have been any different?" Loki smirks a little and looks to him.

"Perhaps.....or perhaps she would have been right there at my side in just as much trouble" Bucky smiles. "Yes, more likely" Loki comments. "She was always getting in trouble" Loki turns back to Bucky. "Even before me...."

"Do you think she is why....why you went a dark?" Bucky asks, Loki takes a breath and then nods.

"I think she was the start of it" Loki admits. "I lost part of myself when I lost her...."

"I'm sorry" Bucky offers. Loki nods a little. "What made you start thinking of her again?"

"I don't know" Loki admits. "Being here probably...." Loki shrugs and taps his fingers on his bottle. "Maybe just after everything...."

"Do you want to talk about her?" Bucky asks. Loki takes a deep breath before pushing his soda away.

"No" Loki answers. "No offence, but I like that she's mine" Loki offers. "You know just mine...."

"And Thor" Bucky points out.

"He knows better then to talk about her with me" Loki informs him. Bucky shrugs.

"If you opened up to the others, they may be more understanding" Bucky tells Loki.

"Bad enough I told you" Loki counters standing. "I don't think I will be telling another soul ever again" Loki walks away, waits till he is just far enough away before pausing, he takes a breath. "But thank you" he offers, Bucky smirks and looks down.

"You're welcome" Bucky counters, Loki shakes his head and leaves the room heading back to his own bedroom.

...................

Bucky lets Steve curl into his side before wrapping his own arm around him. He understands a bit better why Loki is who he is, why he did what he did. It's hard not to be a little broken when you loose someone, let alone a twin sister. He was just a broken little boy reaching out.

"What's wrong?" Steve asks waking to find his boyfriend awake and stroking his hair.

"Nothing, just thinking" Bucky answers.

"About what?"

"We should ask Wanda and Loki to dinner" Bucky tells Steve who seems to take a moment to realise what he's said.

"What?" Steve asks leaning up slightly. "Why?"

"Because Wanda is our friend and she deserves our support in her relationship, even if it's Loki" Bucky counters, Steve narrows his eyes slightly before smirking. "Let's not make a big deal out of me being nice, okay?" Bucky grumbles. "Go back to sleep" Steve chuckles and pulls himself closer to Bucky, Bucky's fingers moving to rest at Steve's neck.

"I feel sorry for Loki actually" Steve admits, Bucky hums in question. "With everything he's been through, with everything that's happened to him, and Thor, and their people......he's now getting these...." Steve sighs. "I don't even know what they are? Sensory spasms?"

"Yeah" Bucky agrees. "Yeah, it sucks...." Steve lifts his head and looks to him raising an eyebrow.

"Out with it, what do you know?" Steve pushes knowing Bucky better then anyone.

"What? Nothing" Bucky argues, Steve shakes his head. "Okay, fine" Bucky concedes and then starts to tell Steve everything. He knows he probably shouldn't be telling him, but he's his boyfriend, his partner, his best friend, they share everything. Even this.