Amazon High

12. Homecoming

 Let me say again just for the record that I really did feel like it was a dog eat dog situation. It was gonna be her or me. Only I had the benefit of knowing the rewards and consequences.

I woke up that Saturday morning and Ben was the last thing on my mind. I know it was mean, how I was using him. But how do you turn down someone who lends themselves to you so freely, again and again? I'd never experienced that before. It's like if one of your coworkers keeps saying to you "hey man, I really only want half my pay and I insist that you take the other half." You know that's wrong but if they keep on asking and insisting, eventually you're going to be like "wow, thanks, cool." I mean, there's only so much you can do.

As I got into my dress, I had a moment of weakness. Or clarity. But it felt like weakness. I really did just want to enjoy myself. For once I was excited about a school dance. I wasn't excited for revenge and my crazy plan or any of that, I was just excited to be there. I realized how precious they were. And I was determined, either way, to make something out of it. Too many kids waste school dances by just standing around and being too self-aware to enjoy themselves. I was aiming for the opposite.

Ben texted me asking if I wanted to go over there. I told him to come to my place and he was over in a flash, in a cheap-looking over-sized black suit and red vest get-up.

My dad let him in and he came down to my room as I got ready.

"Wow, look at you." I said as I applied make-up.

"You too." he sat on my bed.

I stared at myself in the mirror, wondering what I needed.

"I want to curl my hair." I said very matter-of-factly.

"What, why?"

"I don't know, I want to look nice. I feel like I need it. Don't girls do that for fancy stuff?"

"Uh, yeah, I guess. Do you have the hair-curler thing?"

"Yeah, I think." I checked the sink cupboard for it.

"Just don't keep it on for too long."

I stared at the bizarre and dangerous contraption with hesitation, "could you help me?" I murmured.

Ben took his jacket off and helped me put some gentle, very carefully curled curls in my hair. They did look nice, but it felt like defusing a bomb, trying to get it right and not melt my hair off.

"Okay, uh, nice! You look really good." he sat back down and I applied mascara.

"What do you think, is this okay? Too much?" I turned to him as I blinked chunks of it away.

"Uh, that's great. Like I've said, I mean, I don't think you need it."

"But I think I do. I better try to match that red of yours somehow. I think..." I walked over to the closet and pulled out these ridiculous red heels. "Well, it matches."

"Could you, like, could you maneuver in those?"

"We'll see."

I put on some deep red lipstick, had him help me carefully apply red nail polish, and pulled those heels on.

I took very careful steps down the hall, towards the living room.

"Hey, you guys look great!" my dad said, getting comfortable on the couch. "Hey Allie you should really take a coat, it's a little chilly out there."

"What?"

"Fall's coming in strong. I've been watching the weather."

"I don't think I need a jacket."