Thicc • knj

three

"I just want a big ass and small thighs, you know what I mean?"

I sighed, and nodded.

Janice and I were lying on her bed, clothes scattered around us. I was supposed to be helping her with dressing up for someone's party, but we ended up just complaining about things. As expected whenever Janice and I gathered with a motive.

"These things, too," Janice muttered, squeezing her breasts, "I used to hate that they were so big in middle school, but they grew all at once, and now they're too small for my body."

"Well, we're never gonna be happy with how we look," I sighed in reply.

"That's some dark shit you must be on," Janice said. She suddenly sat up. "Just like Namjoon."

I squeezed my eyes shut. "Shut the hell up, Jan, enough about him. I like him. What else am I sposed to do? He's not gonna like me, ever."

"You say that, but Yoon and I went out when we're that different, and I thought there was no way he'd like me. And look at us now! Still friends, but broken up."

"Yeah, that's because you're you and Yoongi is Yoongi," I said, upset. I really really wanted to get closer with Namjoon, but I couldn't comprehend someone lile him being able to even be around someone like myself.

"That's completely out of the question," she said loudly. And then she was giggling. "Namjoon, believe it or not, is a soundcloud rapper."

My eyes were never as close to popping out if my skull as that moment.

"It's honestly kinda hot," Janice said, going on her phone, "And he doesn't mention it at all. He hides it like he's keeping the Secret Service on his shoulders."

Janice tossed her phone on the bed, and grabbed mine from on top of her dresser.

"Listen. He's really good."

I listened. I stared into space as I listened, paying attention to the words I could grab, also listening to the tune.

"Look, here's his instagram," Janice said, handing my phone back to me as she turned back to her mirror and pulled her hair up in a ponytail without a hairtie at hand.

I scrolled through his social media. Most of his posts were of himself in pretty places, in nice clothes that made him look out of college, living a life of luxury with his travels.



kimnamjo_on It's nice here 😊😊😊



kimnamjo_on the light was so bright but the area makes me look like a baddie

And then his captions evolved to something far more interesting.



kimnamjo_on "We are on a constant roller coaster of love and hate, each dip and turn results of our own fate. Bystanders would look at each of our roller coasters and refuse to try them, and in turn have the incapability to see your true self." - unknown. • my brother from another mother. I miss this dude more than I miss fried chicken at 3 in the morning. Happy Birthday Hobi 🌞💛



kimnamjo_on "And as the lights dim, the show seems to stop. It's a drop in positive emotion as it darkens, unless the show was a failure to your mind. You are a child of entertainment. You need another show. You inevitably see another, and your attention is ripped from the one before. A constant cycle is maintained, and we live it unquestioningly." - 🐳 • I'm gonna miss home 😔😔😔 but I'm excited to get a better reach for what I want to do. 💙🐳

~•~

I put the phone down, and let a breath I didn't even know I was holding out.

"What's up?" Janice asked, turning to me.

"He's just . . .

nothing I've seen before."

She laughed. "Yeah, I know that. He really is hot. If you weren't already obsessed I would've tried to date him myself."

I kept going through his instagram, my eyes way too focused on how he captioned every picture onward with an observation that many failed to understand. I put so much focus on thes blue whale quotes, I didn't realize at all when Janice slipped on a red dress, backless, and pulled her phone into her palm.

"Yoon and I are going to the party later."

"But I thought he had something going on with Namjoon tonight?"

"Well, yeah. That's why you're going to go in his place."

"What?"

"Okay, I might have told Yoongi you kind of like Namjoon," she murmured. "But, but but but but but. Yoongi's no snitch. He doesn't eat on people like that."

"Janice!" I groaned. "Those two are like best friends, and imagine your best friend, having a story of the weird gross girl liking you. You're gonna wanna be told, and if you had a story of a gross fat weirdo liking your best friend, you're gonna tell them. That's what guys do too, right?"

Janice went over to me. "Ella. You're not a weirdo. You're not gross. You're beautiful. No wonder Namjoon came up to you in that cafe earlier - you looked mega cute. There's no other reason for him to try and talk to you." Each word was delivered with very prolonged eye-contact. "You need to talk to him. Yoongi and I talked about it. He'd love you."

I pressed my face into my pillow, blushing. "God, I really like him."

~-~-~

I drew on my last line of eyeliner somewhat perfectly. I couldn't stop looking at myself in the mirror, grinning. I felt cute.

Namjoon was sitting at a table in the coffee shop, a pen fitted behind his ear as he rested the end of his pen in use against his plump lips, holding it. He stared down at his notes closely, the concentration on his face making him look somehow more attractive, the beanie he had on keeping hair from falling into his eyes sitting atop his head, showing the slight rise in his face where his eyebrows sat and his petit forehead.

"Hi," I smiled at him when I got to the table. He looked up at me, and his lips parted for a moment.

"Oh. Hunter." He blinked at me, each movement of his eyelids and chest rising with his breath only signalling my heart dropping. He must think I look horrendous, too much makeup. "Wow. You look so . . . "

"I wanted to try something new," I rushed out, anxiety peeking lut of my eyes

"I really like it," Namjoon said, still staring. "Your hair looks . . . super nice."

I exhaled, willing myself not to overthink every word coming out of his mouth.

"O-oh, I'm sorry, take a seat," Namjoon said quickly, pulling his books away from the side of the table across from him.

I sat down carefully. "So . . . sociology. What topic are you looking at?" I took out my things, and then leaned over to peer at Namjoon's notes.

"Oh, it's just . . . " he breathed out loudly, and then pushed his notebook closer to me to make my job easier.