mush from my brain

mush #1

Once upon a time, there was a salad. Now this salad had a dream he,(if a salad could  have a gender.) wanted to be the world renowned talking salad. 

To do this he first had to find someone to teach him to talk. Salad traveled many days and once he even spilled a little ranch dressing out of his bowl. He finally made it to the top of the hill he was climbing. But when he got there, the fabled talking tree of legend was not there! There was only a sapling surely the talking tree of legend was not a child in fact he said it to himself in his tiny salad brain.( After all he could not talk yet)

Salad leaned his bowl against the tree  to rest then, out of nowhere  a voice called out to him it said:

"You who have leaned against me have committed sacrilege for you assume based of of my age that i could not possibly be the fabled talking tree of legend ! But here I am talking to you and do you know  who gave me the gift of speech? No of course not you couldn't know. The almighty lord himself gave me this gift. For he promised me a gift of my choosing and I in turn replied give me the gift of speech so that iI may share wisdom for all who seek it. Do you seek gods wisdom? No! You want to be famous, well if you want to be famous go on instagram and post a picture of yourself and maybe you'll get a couple likes. How dare you speak to me in this way you arrogant salad you might as well die for all your troubles!"

Then the lord struck down the arrogant tree, turned to the Salad and said to him "I'm sorry I couldn't speak to you earlier but I can only make trees talk ."