mush from my brain

Mush#4

 The Bible translated in Hawaiian pidgin (Specifically Mathew chapters 1 and 2, Jesus's birth) I will also provide an english version below but this one is much more entertaining.:

 18 Now befo Mary born Jesus, da Christ guy, da Spesho Guy God Wen Send, dis wen happen. Mary, she make ready fo marry Joseph. But befo dey wen marry, dis wat wen happen: God's Good an Spesho Spirit wen make her get hapai. 19Joseph, da guy dat goin come her husban, he one guy dat do da right ting everytime, an he no like make her shame to da peopo. So he tink, "I no goin marry her, but I no goin tell nobody."

20But wen he stay tinking lidat, right den an dea, one angel messenja guy from da Good Boss Up Dea Inside Da Sky come by him, wen he stay dreaming. Da angel guy say, "Eh Joseph! You from King David ohana. No scared take Mary fo come yoa wife, cuz she hapai from God's Spirit dat stay good an spesho. 21She goin born one boy, an you goin name him Jesus, cuz he goin take his peopo outa da kine bad stuff dey do." 22All dis happen jalike Isaiah wen say, da guy who talk fo God long time ago,23"Lissen! One young wahineWho neva sleep wit nobody,Goin get happy.She goin born one boy.Dey goin name him Emmanuel."("Emmanuel" stay mean, "God stay hea now wit us guys.")24Joseph wake up an he do wat da angel guy from da Boss wen tell him. He take Mary home, fo come his wife. 25But he neva sleep wit her befo she born her boy. An he name him Jesus.1Jesus, he born Betlehem town, Judea side. Herod, he da king dat time. An you know wat? Had dese smart guys who know plenny bout da stars, wen come Jerusalem town from one far place, from da east side. Dey saying, 2"Wea da boy dat born, da King fo da Jews? We wen spock one star come up da east side dat show dat he born awready, an we come hea fo go down in front him an show him plenny respeck." 3King Herod hear dat, an he all shook up an scared. All da peopo inside Jerusalem, dey all shook up an scared too.4Den Herod wen tell fo come by him all da main pries guys an all da teacha guys who teach God's Rules to da peopo. He say, "Try tell me wea God's Spesho Guy goin born." 5Dey tell um, "He goin born Betlehem, Judea side. Cuz da guy Micah wen say (he one guy dat talk fo God long time ago),6'Eh! You Betlehem guys, ova dea Judah side!All da leadas inside JudahTink Betlehem importan.Cuz from dea goin come one leada.He goin take care God's peopo,Da Israel peopo.'-"7Den Herod tell da guys who know plenny bout da stars fo come by him. Dey wen come, but dey neva tell nobody. He find out from dem wat time da star wen show up inside da sky. 8Den he send um Betlehem. He say, "Go! Look all ova da place till you find da boy. Den come back ova hea an tell me. Cuz I like go dea, fo go down in front him an show him respeck too."9Afta dey hear wat da king say, dey go. An you know wat? Dat same star, da one dey wen see befo, wen dey wen stay east side, dat star go in front dem, an stop right ova da place wea da boy stay. 10Dey wen spock da star, an eh! dey wen feel real good inside.11Dey go inside da house. Dey see da boy an his mudda Mary. Dey go down in front him an show him respeck. Den dey take out dea rich stuffs, an give um to Jesus. Dey give um gold, incense, an spesho kine perfume. 12Afta dat dey get one dream from God. He tell um, "You guys betta not go back by King Herod." So dey go home one diffren way.16King Herod, he wen find out eh, dat da guys dat know plenny bout da stars wen fool him, an he wen come so wild, he wen go send his army guys an tell um, "Go kill all da small boys inside Betlehem an all da odda place ova dea." Den dey wen kill all da boys two years old an mo younga. Herod wen figga da time, cuz da guys who know plenny bout da stars wen tell him wat time da star wen show up first time.17Dis happen jalike Jeremiah wen say, da guy dat talk fo God long time ago:18"Dey hear one voice from inside Ramah,Rachel, she stay crying real hard,She real sore inside,Crying fo her kids,She no like nobody come by her,Cuz da kids mahke awready."                                                                                                                             19Lata, King Herod wen mahke. One angel messenja guy from da Boss come by Joseph wen he stay dreaming ova dea Egypt side. Da angel guy tell him, 20"Eh Joseph! Wake up! Take yoa boy an his mudda, an go Israel side. Da guys dat like kill da boy, stay mahke awready."21So den Joseph wen get up, fo take Jesus an Mary. Dey wen go back Israel side. 22But he hear dat Arkelaus wen come king Judea side afta his fadda Herod wen mahke. Joseph scared fo go ova dea. God tell him inside one dream, "You betta not go ova dea." So he go Galilee side, 23an make house Nazaret town. Dis happen jalike da guys who talk fo God long time ago wen say, "Dey goin call him 'da Nazaret guy.'-"

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English translation of the Bible NIV translation (Specifically Mathew chapters 1 and 2, Jesus's birth):

18 This is how the birth of Jesus the Messiah came about : His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be pregnant through the Holy Spirit. 19 Because Joseph her husband was faithful to the law, and yet did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly. 20 But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, "Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. 21 She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins." 22 All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet: 23 "The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel" (which means "God with us"). 24 When Joseph woke up, he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took Mary home as his wife. 25 But he did not consummate their marriage until she gave birth to a son. And he gave him the name Jesus. 1 After Jesus was born in Bethlehem in Judea, during the time of King Herod, Magi from the east came to Jerusalem2 and asked, "Where is the one who has been born king of the Jews? We saw his star when it rose and have come to worship him." 3 When King Herod heard this he was disturbed, and all Jerusalem with him. 4 When he had called together all the people's chief priests and teachers of the law, he asked them where the Messiah was to be born. 5 "In Bethlehem in Judea," they replied, "for this is what the prophet has written: 6 " 'But you, Bethlehem, in the land of Judah, are by no means least among the rulers of Judah; for out of you will come a ruler who will shepherd my people Israel.' " 7 Then Herod called the Magi secretly and found out from them the exact time the star had appeared. 8 He sent them to Bethlehem and said, "Go and search carefully for the child. As soon as you find him, report to me, so that I too may go and worship him." 9 After they had heard the king, they went on their way, and the star they had seen when it rose went ahead of them until it stopped over the place where the child was. 10 When they saw the star, they were overjoyed. 11 On coming to the house, they saw the child with his mother Mary, and they bowed down and worshiped him. Then they opened their treasures and presented him with gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh. 12 And having been warned in a dream not to go back to Herod, they returned to their country by another route.13 When they had gone, an angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream. "Get up," he said, "take the child and his mother and escape to Egypt. Stay there until I tell you, for Herod is going to search for the child to kill him." 14 So he got up, took the child and his mother during the night and left for Egypt, 15 where he stayed until the death of Herod. And so was fulfilled what the Lord had said through the prophet: "Out of Egypt I called my son." 16 When Herod realized that he had been outwitted by the Magi, he was furious, and he gave orders to kill all the boys in Bethlehem and its vicinity who were two years old and under, in accordance with the time he had learned from the Magi. 17 Then what was said through the prophet Jeremiah was fulfilled: 18 "A voice is heard in Ramah, weeping and great mourning, Rachel weeping for her children and refusing to be comforted, because they are no more."19 After Herod died, an angel of the Lord appeared in a dream to Joseph in Egypt 20 and said, "Get up, take the child and his mother and go to the land of Israel, for those who were trying to take the child's life are dead." 21 So he got up, took the child and his mother and went to the land of Israel. 22 But when he heard that Archelaus was reigning in Judea in place of his father Herod, he was afraid to go there. Having been warned in a dream, he withdrew to the district of Galilee, 23 and he went and lived in a town called Nazareth. So was fulfilled what was said through the prophets, that he would be called a Nazarene.

 As you can see these two translations are very different.