RED POV
Simmons and Grif quickly made their way towards their leader.
Sarge: Hurry up, ladies. This ain't no ice cream social.
Simmons: Ice cream social?
Sarge: Stop the pillow talk, you two anyone...want to guess...why I gathered you here...today?
Grif: Uh...is it because the war's ovet and you're sending us home?
Sarge: That's exactly it, Private. War's over. We won. Turns out you're the big hero, and we're gonna hold a parade in your honor. I get to drive the float. And Simmons here in in CHARGE OF CONFETTI!
Grif: I'm no stranger to sarcasm, sir.
Sarge: God DAMN it, Private! Shut your mouth, or else I'll have Simmons slit your throat wile you're asleep!
Simmons: Oh, I'd do it, too.
Sarge: I know you would, Simmons. Good man. Couple of things today, ladies. Command has seen fit to increase our ranks here at Blood Gulch Outpost Number One.
Grif: Crap. We're getting a rookie.
Sarge: That's right, dead man. Our new recruit will be here within the week. But today, we recieved the first part of our shipment from Command. Lopez.
Sarge then turned around while Grif and Simmons looked at each other.
Sarge: Bring up the vehicle.
Just then Lopez came up the hill driving the vehicle towards the reds.
Simmons: Shotgun!
Grif: Shotgun! Fuck.
Sarge: May I introduce our new light reconnaissance vehicle. It has four-inch armor plating, mag bumpers suspension, a mounted machine-gunner position, and total seating for three. Gentlemen! This is the M12 LRV! I like to call it the 'Warthog'.
Simmons: Why 'Warthog', sir?
Sarge: Because M12 LRV is too hard to say in conversation, son.
Grif: No, but...whu 'Warthog?'. I mean, it doesn't look like a pig.
Sarge: Say that again?
Grif: I think it looks more like a puma.
Sarge: What in Sam hell is a puma?
Simmons: Uh, you mean like the shoe company?
Grif: No, like a puma. It's a big cat, like a lion.
Sarge: You're makin' that up.
Grif: I'm telling you, it's a real animal!
Sarge: Simmons, I want you to posion Grif's next meal.
Simmons: Yes, sir!
Sarge: Look, see these two tow hooks? They look like tusks. And what kind of animal has tucks?
Grif: A walrus.
Sarge: Didn't I just tell you to stop making up animals?
Blue POV
Right now All three blues were looking down on the reds.
Tucker: What is that thing?
Church: I don't know. It looks like, uh....looks like they got some kinda car down there. We better get back to base and report it.
Tucker: A car? How come they get a car?
Church: What are you complaining about, man? We're about to gey a tank in the very next drop.
(Y/n): Not to mention a new recruit along with it.
Church: Oh yeah I forgot about that.
Tucker: You can't pick up chicks in a tank.
Church: Oh, you know what? You could bitch about anything, couldn't you? We're gonna get a tank, and you're worried about chicks. What chicks are we gonna pick up, man? And secondly, how are we gonna pick up chicks in a car that looks like that?
(Y/n): As far as I can see there's only guys in the canyon.
Tucker: Fine still though what kind of car is it?
Church: I don't know, I've never seen a car like that before. It looks like a, uhh....like a big cat of some kind.
(Y/n): Hmm wonder what kind of big cat it is.
Tucker: What, like a puma?
Church: Yeah man, there you go.
(Y/n): Makes sense.
Red POV
Sarge: So unless anybody has anymore mythical creatures to suggest as a name for the new vehicle, we're gonna stick with the Warthog. How about it, Grif?
Grif: No, sir. No more suggestions.
Sarge: Are you sure? How "bout Bigfoot?
Grif: It's okay.
Sarge: Unicorn?
Grif: No, really. Uh, I'm cool.
Sarge: Sasquatch?
Simmons: Leprechaun?
Grif: Hey, he doesn't need any help man.
Sarge: Phoenix?
Grif: *sighs* Christ.
Sarge: Hey, Simmons! What's the name of the Mexican lizard? Eats all the goats?
Simmons: Uh, that would be the Chupacabra, sir.
Sarge: Hey, Grif! Chupa-thingy, how "bout that? I like it. Got a ring to it.
YOU ARE READING
Red Vs Blue X Male Reader
Action(Y/n) was assigned to Blood Gulch on Blue team and along the way many adventures and actions await for our friends.
