One Letter at a Time

More Concepts

Concept 1: Rain patters.

I always liked when rain pattered on the roof. Why? Because it sounds like soldiers, marching off into war in a constant rhythm of pounds that sink into one's heart like hot stones to synthetic skin. It pours and falls on cement, making a thump, like a valiantly fallen soldier, shot and dead. I guess it's a bit of a sad analogy, but the first memory I have on rain was Anzac Day. Year 0/Preparitonal trial/Prep. It kinda imprinted on my thoughts of rain. I think, whenever I saw rain around this person, of whom I do not remember, they would always say to another person, loudly, "You could think rain was money, from the way she looks at it." But I have always looked at rain like that, for as long as I can remember.

Concept 2: Trust and Care

I have not easily found trust in a person, not once in my life. It normally starts off as a slow develop of actions around them, to moving my arms crazily while I talk, to actually TRUSTING them. I have friends, but they aren't like me, I've had many times, a friend stops being my friend because of my way of showing trust.  My way of showing trust, it's increasingly annoying to others, is following them everywhere, until I can't follow them anymore. My friend, a friend in which I placed a lot of trust in, told me i was annoying, then 2 terms after, she disappeared from the group with two others in which I greatly cared about. They left and created their own group, saying that nobody took them seriously, when I did, and I cared, I trusted and I believed. I believed they would stay my close friends, and take my side of the story too.

 I guess my show of care is also different from others. It starts off with experimenting with completely harmless gestures, complete with objects, around them, and then, once finding something they are scared of, or dislike the greatest, I chase them with it, to test my theory. They probably thought I was a psycho. That is probably why they left the group, because there was a psycho, who roamed freely in all spaces they could reach. One was afraid of USB s, another of physical contact. So I chased one with a USB, and one with arms outstretched.

It's definitely the worst feeling for me, to just find my three most trusted and cared about friends to say they don't want anyone from the group near them again, and left me with a stupid, heartless, icy bully, his follower and a frightened friend. Anyway, I moved away from them, as I couldn't STAND being near that atrocity that calls itself, "human", it's demon guard, and a person who won't take a stand for an autistic boy, who, being provoked and not in his right mind, punched him in the gut, arm and socked him in the face, those with sensitive feelings OR even tell the office, get a close eye on him. And I basically lived inside the world of manga, such as Tokyo Ghoul or Attack on Titan. The library was, and still is my only safe haven, where you can plop on beanbags or sit on cushioned chairs, learn, teach or even play board games.

Concept 3: Loyalty.

It's a common thought, right? That everyone has loyalty?Some people dis the idea, there a cheating guys, hurting his wife, maybe child, there a killers, killing their own family, many things. But nobody thinks, there is still slightest loyalty in those, even in the worst people. Cheaters, they are loyal to their friends, not lovers. Killers, they may kill their family, but there is always a reason, maybe it's a kid, not understanding, who kills his slowly dying grandfather out of pity. Maybe asked to. Maybe not even knowing, but there is a sliver of justice, of loyalty, inside everyone's hearts. But growing up with loyalty surrounding you, you grow too much, you grow too trusting. It is better to be loyal to three things, and that is all. Loyalty to justice, law and truth. Not friends, nor family or government. All of those may be corrupt, needing of somebody to drag into their own mess. I have grown accustomed to loyalty, and I believe it will lead to my own downfall. My fatal flaw. It has been my upbringing, it will be my down bringing, might as well embrace it than leaving it hanging in the air.