A Christmas Carol Blooms (New Amsterdam fanfiction)

Ghost of Christmas Past

A cold wind blows through Lauren's bedroom. She throws her covers over her head mumbling "I'm tired mommy. Later."

"Well, that's a first. No one's called me mommy before." A familiar voice comes through, breaking Lauren's stupor.

"Evie, what are you doing here?"

"Girl you got some nice digs. I like them." Evie says in awe as she walks out of the bedroom.

Putting on a robe, Lauren follows her to the living room. "I just had the weirdest dream that Ca-" she stops mid-sentence when she notices a knife in the sink, the same knife she tried to cut Casey with.

"That wasn't a dream, Lauren." Evie's voice surprising her coming from the kitchen.

"You can't be serious. This is all a Dream. Has to be. Casey and you can't just come barging in here. I am going to complain to the manager in the morning about the lapse of security."

"Lauren, I am Ghost of Christmas Past."

"I don't need you. I am fine. Tell whoever sent you," Lauren points up to the roof, "that I don't need soul searching or self evaluation or whatever. I am just fine."

"Lauren look around you. You have lost your Christmas spirit."

"My parents died last year. I'm sorry if I not in a ho ho ho jolly mood." Lauren grabs the knife in the sink on the wrong end, cutting herself. "Ouch. Wait that's not supposed to happen. I cut casey and he didn't bleed."

Lauren proceeds to go to the bathroom looking for bandages. Evie steps in front of her. "You lost your Christmas spirit way before you lost your parents. If you grab my hand I will show you."

"Show me what?" Lauren walks past Evie into the bathroom and grabs a package of bandaids.

"A Christmas memory long forgotten. Just trust me." Evie holds out her hand. Lauren reluctantly takes it, skepticism all over her face.

As soon as their hands touch, Lauren's eyes close only to open them a second later. She stands in the same spot before. Feeling no different.

"Nothings changed, Evie. We're here again."

Just at that moment, a woman with long brown hair comes out of the master bedroom in red pajamas. "Merry Christmas, Lauren. Looks like Santa came after all."

"Mommy?"

"Come on, Lor. Wake up. Santa's elves have been busy."

"Dad?"

A little girl comes running out of her bedroom, hair disheveled, signs of waking still evident in her face. But she lights up once she enters the living room and sees a lit up tree with presents underneath.

"I remember this." Lauren whispers.

"You should. That's you when you were six." Evie leads Lauren to the living where the family, seemingly oblivious to the presence of two strangers, starts opening the presents.

"Shouldn't we be hiding or something?"

"They won't be able to see us. We're not really here. Just observers." Evie sits on an empty couch patting the empty seat next to her, inviting Lauren to join her. "What do you remember about this day?"

"I remember I was so excited. I got everything on my wishlist." Lauren replies as she watches her younger self open a package, squeal in response as she sees a doll looking back at her. "I have been wanting that doll all year because she looks exactly like me."

"Anything else you remember, Lauren?"

"No. I don't get why we're here. This is a happy Christmas. I didn't lose Christmas spi-"

Just at that moment the phone rings. "I forget there was a time without cell phones." Lauren laughs as she watches her mom exit the living room to pick up the landline, her father following to the kitchen.

"You can't just bail on us. You're supposed to come and watch Lauren for tonight. So what do you want us to do? We can't cancel. This is the mayoral event hosted by the man himself. Right. No way we can bring a six year old with us. We'll just come up with something." Mrs. Bloom hangs up the phone and begins to whisper to her husband.

"I remember now." Present day Lauren says. "They were invited to a black tie event hosted by the mayor. The babysitter canceled last minute. They couldn't find anybody to watch me."

Evie took Lauren's hand and the scenario fast forwards to later in the evening. They watch as the six year old holds her new doll close. The parents in their room preparing for a night out.

"Mommy, please don't go. It's Christmas. I don't like to be alone."

"Lauren, we won't be far. You will be asleep. And when you wake up, you won't even know we were gone."

"I'll know." Young Lauren hugs to her doll tighter, tears escaping from her eyes.

"Lor, you have to be a big girl. No crying. I promise we will be back." Mr. Bloom in his tux, lifts the little girl and carries her to bed. "You just close your eyes and soon as you open them we will be there."

"Promise?"

"Promise. Here. Before going to bed, take your medicine ok." Her mom enters the room and gives a small glass to the little girl and kisses her on the forehead. "Good night, Lauren. Merry Christmas."

"Good night, mommy and daddy." Young Lauren replies groggily as she slowly closes her eyes to the world, her arms wrapped around the little doll.

"What just happened, Evie? I don't remember any of this. I don't remember this at all. You must have changed it." Present day Lauren looks to Evie for an explanation.

"No one, including me has the power to change the past, Lauren. I only have the power to show it to you."

Lauren goes to the night table and tries to pick up the small glass. But her hand just passes through. "What did my mom give me?"

"A small sedative. To help you sleep. They were planning on being back before you woke up. But they stayed longer at the party than expected." Evie reaches out to touch the clock hanging on the wall. Lauren watches in awe as the hands move faster right to midnight.

"Mommy!" Young Lauren sits up on her bed, fear etched on her face. "Mommy? Daddy?"

Lauren grabs her doll and turns on the lamp next to her. She exits the room still calling out for her parents, her voice becoming more desperate with each call.

"This was your first Christmas alone. The time when you developed the fear of loneliness."

"How come I don't remember any of this?" Lauren watches as her younger self returns to the bedroom, tears in her eyes and crawls to bed mumbling, "Mommy. Daddy. Where are you?"

"You were six years old. Not just that but it's a traumatic experience. Our brains protect us from things we aren't ready to remember."

"This is a mistake. Has to be a mistake. I would remember this." Lauren yells refusing to take in the truth.

"I can't change the past Lauren. Only show it." Evie's voice starts to dissipate, as the bedroom scene around them dissolves. The little girl crying herself to sleep etched in Lauren's mind.