[COMPLETE]
Friends or Lovers? I am so confused. I thought I like girls and he likes boys but what is this? Meollaseo jinjja. What i know to myself before is that, Jin is not my style. Jinnie is just my gay friend but why do I feel like this? Seeing...
Eotteoke? What should I do now? Byulyi wants to go watch a movie at my place. Why? Oh right fine, I admit it. I like her. These past few months, I tried my best to ignore my feelings. I even avoided her but last month, I guess she snapped.
1 Month Ago
"YAHHHHHH!!!! KIM FUCKING SEOKJIN!!!!!! Why are you being like this? How long are you planning to keep on avoiding me? Just tell me, what did I do? Byulyi angrily shouted at me. She's now in this state after I rejected her invitation to go to Yongsun's party. " what are you saying? I told you I need to finish some reports" I lied. " You're always making excuses, when will we be able to hang out again? Just say if you don't want me as your friend anymore. It's better than making me feel like this" she sounds angrier than before. Actually, I can't. How can I watch her and Yongsun together? I know the moment I agree to come with her, It will make me feel like a third wheel to my best friend a.k.a to the one I like. I didn't want to see her with her. I am still in the state of accepting their relationship. I don't even want to open a topic about them because I might start crying and might confess my feelings. And I don't want that to happen. " I'm sorry Byul, I didn't know you feel that way. I am just getting stressed out in school works. Actually, I'm not feeling well and I'm having difficulties in dealing with myself. I can't explain it to you now but I will tell you someday ". I said it to her while maintaining our eye contact. All I said are true. I will tell her someday that I used to like her when I successfully ignore my feelings. " Are you OK? You're not angry with me? I didn't do you wrong?" She keeps on asking me trying to persuade herself that I am not mad at her. "Yes, why should I mad at you? You're my best friend" I laugh a little because she cracked a smile. "Arasseo, at least now I know why you're acting like this. Well, if you really don't want to come with me, then just go home and rest". She then embraced me. The close proximity makes my heart beat fast and I can feel her breathing. I smelled her and hug her back. "If you're having a hard time, don't hesitate to come to me, you even know my door's passcode. You can barge in anytime" I can feel her warm breath around my neck while she's saying those words and it makes me shiver.
Back to Present
I can't bring her to my place. No, not yet. What am I thinking? My mind is full of plaque right now. Before, when she used to live with me, I can easily hug, embrace, sit beside her, and sleep with her without these weird feelings but now... Argggh. I'm having a mental breakdown again. This is my first time to feel like this. Moon Byulyi, what are you doing to me?
* Meolkkang meolkkang!!!! My phone vibrates*
My Star Jinnie what do want as a beverage? I'm here at the grocery to buy our popcorn. What flavor do you want? Reply asap.
Me Byul, do you want to go to the karaoke bar instead of watching a movie? (PLEASE SAY YES, PLEASE SAY YES, PLEASE SAY YES, I said to myself)
My Star Are you serious? You never like singing
Me No, I won't sing but I want to hear your rap. 😂
My Star Liar, you never like my rap but anyway, Call👍
Me OK, I'm on my way
At the Karaoke Bar
I went to the karaoke room and she's already there. She is now rapping to a rap song entitled "AGUST D" by an underground rapper called Suga. "She's still a fan of that dude?" I asked myself. I am here at the door of the karaoke room and I don't want to go inside. I just want to watch her performance from afar. Her flow is so mesmerizing. She really knows how to rap. I used to tease her hip-hop love before but deep inside I really want to tell her how she slayed those rap verses. Now I suddenly remember something in the past when I purposely needed to lie to her regarding her rap and dance performance. That is when Sandeul asks her to audition with him in an entertainment company. She asked me to watch her performance and said, she will decide to come or not to the audition after she hears my comment. She literally dances and rap in front of me in the living room and told me to judge her. Even though her performance was good and impressive, I lied to her. I don't like the idea of her being an idol celebrity. Especially her, performing with Deullie that's why I told her to shut up and just go to sleep. She just laughs and said "I know right, Being an idol is not for me 😂"
I am reminiscing everything while watching her performance inside the karaoke room and I just realize how much I really like her even from the start.
I used to think that she's just a friend and that's the reason why I overlook the love that I have for her for a very long time.
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