i think too much

eight

i pour my emotions onto a blank page, staining its purity with my petty crimes

wondering why i can no longer go back to before i did the thing i did, before all the pride, before all the embarrassment and shame and guilt and frustration and hatred

i loved you like a moth loves its flame until i ran out of love to give to anyone else

i loved you too much and forgot to spare some for myself

and i drowned in quiet comparison, poisoning my veins with feelings that would devour me every single night

i loved you until i could no longer love you

i loved you until the only thing left to feel for you

was hatred

and so i hated you

i'm sorry