How Not To Fuck Up a Werewolf Story

*sings* THE CLICHES OF WATTPAD

Aight, y'all knew this was coming. And a big lot of you people all guessed one of my topics, so darlings I'm glad I'm not the only one who has noticed this reoccuring theme that has made me want to throw up in the nearest container and/or bag.

So, I'm just gonna get right to the point because instead of being a teenager that likes to party and make out with seven people at once, I update for you people, because I have absolutely nothing else to do. I mean- I kinda do, but you guys don't really care and I'm a bit of an introvert that doesn't like people so I come on here for freedom and SELF EXPRESSION AND YAY INTERNET FRIENDS.

Another thing I'd like to address before we begin, for all of those who have asked me to marry them, I will graciously accept your invitations of wed. We can help clean wattpad. BTW- Wattpad should have a hashtag- HOLY SHIT GUYS, genius idea, everytime you see a cliche book put #cleaningupwattpad and we'll just have an overload of all of these books having these hashtags in the comments sections and then they'll be like: The fuck you hashtaggin? And you'd be like: I'm callin you out on yo shit brotha, sorry. I love you but you have a problem.

So something that I want to just touch down on:

White god damn wolves as the virgin sacrifice and HUGE black wolves that are ALWAYS bigger than any other wolf as the big-bad-manly-man-eighteen-year-old-Alpha.

Now I actually want to go in on this, before I go into why I hate it. I read this amazing amazing amazing book on Wattpad just the other day, and she wrote the cliche of black wolf x white wolf, but gosh darn, she just blew me kind out of the water. Apparently, in this book, the darker the coat the more dominant, and if you were red, you were like a sociopath kind of, and if you white you were this submissive wolf. And it made sense to me, because the white wolf was just so submissive and it was... it was really good.

Anyways, other than this special case- black wolves annoy the hell out of me. They just, ugh.

It's just weird, okay, because if you have your character have brown hair and brown eyes, but then they're transforms and then suddenly it's white fur and blue eyes, you messed up. Now, saying that you can have them change their eye color tho. I do that all the time, when they get riled up and angry, sure. It's kind of sexy. But having them just plainly have those eyes? No. No. Give a reason behind it, explain your werewolf universe.

When you write a book, don't expect your readers to know what's going on. Which most of you guys don't realize.

And then the tiny wolf. I'm over it. I want a strong wolf, I want a red wolf who could kill something bigger than a freaking squirrel. Like, no. No. Give me power, give me death at their feet, give me fear.

Make your characters scary, make them so freaking sociopathic that you can't turn off your lights. Make them different. You wondering why you aren't getting reads? Because of that.

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CLICHE NUMBER TWO THAT PISSES ME OFF SO FUCKIN BAD

When the main characters and minor characters can stop not being hyper as fuck. Like, why the hell are they screaming for no reason? Why are they suddenly laughing at something that isn't funny?

I think this is supposed to compensate at the author's inability to create wit and good dialogue.

I literally read one the other day where the boy, (i read a lot of bxb) went around and screamed "HAHA, SPONGEBOB rANDOM QUOTE HERE AND EW YOURE A BUTTFACE!" and then I read on and it continued. It continued. At one point he hit on his very married principal, got coffee- like he needed some- and then stood up to a bully WAY TOO EARLY in the book. This happened in less than five hundred words.