hello.
this is hard to write, mainly because i don't really know what i'm trying to say.
wattpad has been a strange little thing for me. it began as a "safe zone" where i just wrote whatever i felt like doing. it freed those strange thoughts from my head so i could feel some sort of release.
what this resulted in was emo, "experimental" works that i have a hard time reading through now.
then it became a warzone, where i felt like i had to fight to validate whatever work i've done when i was challenged by outside forces. but it's pretty hard to validate all these strange works.
so i tried doing actual stories, which i'm not very good at.
i'm not very good at writing at all.
as for those strange writings,
unfortunately, they were all personal.
they felt like noise i've heard before droning in the back of my mind. i didn't expect that i had to justify their existence. i didn't know what i was doing. i still don't know.
generally with all these words, i'm just tryna say i don't know what i've made and i think it shows so if you feel like there's some hidden overall meaning i can assure you i have no substance, although some works have their specific inspiration.
the main purpose of this "book" was to act as a compilation of ideas and feelings (after all, i can't just keep creating new books for a single chapter)
and i think together they act as the physical representation of my mental growth/degeneration over the years.
also i mostly don't check my work after writing, so that explains grammatical errors etc.
i'm too lazy. (and it's hard to read your own writing when it's crappy)
i should start doing that though cause they have begun affecting my academic writing.
so there, my grammar and vocab are pretty mediocre and these two things are pretty important in language to begin with.
thus, if there's any takeaway from my "work" , it would not be my sentence structure or "fine use of words".
instead i think the shape of my paragraphs is worth looking into. nothing metaphorical, but actually look at the shape (some have a wavy thing going on, some are just punchy idk)
if you can achieve those shapes and actually write stuff of substance, then you will be great! (yes, it's cool.)
also, maybe if you have been writing actually good technical stuff, maybe just try once in a while to participate in gibberish/ trash writing.
it's my specialty.
so yeah, this is just me reviewing what happened so far in a short and salty manner.
by no way is this the end to this,(it will never end) it's more like an attempt at explaining myself to anyone who ever reaches this portion of this compilation of trash.
i'm surprised at how long i've kept this up, it's really an achievement on my part.
hopefully no future employer finds this.
