𝐎𝐟 𝐑𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐑𝐞𝐝𝐚𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐲 † 𝐟𝐫𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐫𝐝 𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐬

Lemonade

-Lemonade by Nicole Dollanganger
•

The house was cold and silent. The only noises being made was the quiet rumble of the air conditioning and the neighbors annoying dog. He couldn't bring himself to turn on the TV to make this less miserable, he was starting to wonder if he actually liked torturing himself like this. He could've left a long time ago, but he didn't he just stayed and pretended that he was fine. He must want this, he thought to himself. . . but no, of course he didn't. Who would? He was suffering.

The tears on his cheeks had dried hours ago but he could still feel the dry stiffness staining his blushed skin. He hated crying because it was the one thing that he couldn't hide. He could fake a smile but his tears always gave him away. His tears didn't matter too much right now though because there was no one there to pity him. He pitted himself though, he knew that he shouldn't have to hurt like this but he still did.

Every other night he left him here alone after kissing his cheek and calling him baby but it wasn't enough. He still knew that he wasn't going out drinking like he told him time and time again. He had been naive enough to trust him for the first month or so but after that he started to notice things that were painfully obvious from the beginning. Things that Gerard had whispered to him when they were alone and Frank had dismissed him as overprotective, which he was, rightfully so since Frank obviously couldn't care for himself. If he could he wouldn't be in this situation with his husband in the first place.

These were the most painful times though, when he was alone and vulnerable and all he heard in his head were Gerard's sweet words trying to help him. He wished that things could have been different but you cant change the past and now he's stuck, unhappy and used.

He often wondered what the other man was like. If he was a better fuck than him and that's why Zacky went to him. He thought maybe he was prettier or thinner but Zacky always told him how he'd never met someone more perfect. Though all of his husband's sweet words lost meaning once he found out. Zacky obviously had no problem with lying to get what he wanted, whether it was into Frank's pants or out of the house without question. Zacky wasn't the man the Frank thought he had married, caring and loyal like he had been while they dated.m, but he can't give up now, not when he had what he wanted. His mother and father were proud that he had finally gotten married and settled down and he liked the idea of having a husband and maybe one day kids. He convinced himself that this was only temporary. It would get better soon.

•••

As the months passed nothing had changed. Frank had lied to himself yet again and he felt surprisingly numb looking back. Of course he wished that he had that perfect life he envisioned but he didn't and he had tonight himself how to deal.a He never even cried now when Zacky left. He simply advised him to drive safe and told him he loved him because deep down he knew that he still did. Unfortunately, love doesn't wear off that easily.

He tried to keep himself busy by baking things and cleaning around the house but he always found himself in the same spot on the couch, watching the clock as the hours pass knowing that his husband was somewhere fucking someone that wasn't him. It was like a routine. He hated routines. Something needed to change but he felt hopeless. He picked up his cell phone clicking the contact that he used the most, especially when he felt like this.

The phone rang three times while he chewed his thumb nail until it throbbed. He wasn't even sure what he was going to say when he did answer. He just needed Gerard right then.