Mistake // Yoonmin

31. Shame

*not edited*

Jimin paced around wondering if he should knock on the front door.

He's obviously awake. Jimin thought to himself. But what if he doesn't want to see me?

He glanced over at the door. He recalled the last conversation they had. Who am I kidding he definitely doesn't want to see me. He groaned tugging his hair. Hoseok's words replayed over and over in his mind. He really did have a lot to gain. If he spoke to the older than he might have a chance to be in his daughter life. He'd watch her grow and become her own little person. With that came the consequence that he would lose all contact with his family. He could never count on them for anything, it would be like he didn't have parents. So was it worth it? That was the moment Jimin had to finally decide who was more important to him.

Fuck it.

Before he could stop himself his knuckles finally collided with the wood. The urge to run and pretend he hadn't knocked was strong, but he stayed put. This was for his daughter. He had to put his pride aside because that didn't matter at the moment.

"Oh, hi." The male looked at him with furrowed eyebrows.

Jimin didn't make eye contact instead looked at the ground as he mumbled a hi back.

Ten rubbed the nape of his neck glancing towards the inside of the house. "Uh Yoongi is in the kitchen. I don't know if he would want me to let you in or not so just," he held his hands out in front of him in a halting motion, "just wait here. I'll go get him." Jimin couldn't do anything else other than nod.

He sighed once the door closed. Am I making a mistake? He questioned himself, turning his back away the door. He was scared. Beyond scared. Would Yoongi yell at him? Would he straight up reject even coming out and talking to him? Jimin couldn't blame him if he did.

"What are you doing here?" Jimin tensed quickly turning around to face him.

The air was caught in his throat and he felt like he couldn't speak. The older stood before him sighed, crossing his arms over his chest as he leaned against the door frame.

"H-hi." Jimin stumbled over the simple word.

"Hi." Yoongi spoke coldly. "What are you doing here?" He asked again.

The younger played with his fingers becoming flustered. "I-I um. I think- no I mean you um," It was as if he had lost the ability to speak. His words became jumbled up in his brain and escaped his mouth in a bigger mess than they already were in his mind.

Yoongi didn't try to say anything. He simply allowed the younger to stumble over his words, never once interrupting his ramble. He just watched the junior with a blank stare.

The pink haired boy groaned frustrated he couldn't form a coherent sentence. He wanted to switch back time to avoid how embarrassing this had became. He paused gathering his thoughts before he finally said, "What I'm trying to say is I'm really sorry."

Older of the two hummed. "Okay? Is that all? Can I go inside now?" He stood up straight ready to retreat back into his home.

"No!" Jimin nearly shouted. In his mind this was his only chance of being heard by the older. He felt as if he were to try this again Yoongi would simply not give him the time of day. "I want to be in her life."

Yoongi groaned, he placed a hand over his eyes trying to collect his thoughts. "Jimin," he breathed out, "don't do this."

"I'm serious Yoongi. I want to be in her life. I want to see her grow and I want to be there for her."

The senior only clenched his jaw shaking his head. He stepped out of the house closing the door behind him. "Do you really?" He questioned coldly. "Or is this some ploy to get rid of whatever type of shame you're feeling?"

Jimin didn't say anything. He just stared at the older in shock. "N-no, of course not."

Yoongi rolled his eyes. "Look, I've come to terms with you leaving." He began. "And I understand your point. You want to live your life without this huge responsibility. I'll admit at first I was angry and thought you were selfish but you know what," he took a deep breath trying not to get worked up. "I get it."

"I get why you wouldn't want this. You're young. You deserve to be able to go party and to drink without worrying that you have a kid at home. You'll start college in a year and you'll need to put all your focus on that. A baby would just distract you."

"Suji is fine. She's safe and she'll be okay with me. So don't feel guilty or a shamed of your choice because you don't have to." Yoongi didn't sound angry anymore. He sounded sincere.

Jimin just stood frozen unable to move. Was he really doing this out of shame? "T-thats not why..." he trailed off.

Yoongi just sighed. "Look Jimin its late." He opened the door getting ready to leave the boy who stood before him. "You should get home, back to your parents."

"What do I have to do to prove to you that I really want this?" Jimin's voice was barely above a whisper.

The older shrugged. "I don't know if there even is anything you can do."