Short Poems/Monologues/Stories

What Am I?

So, funny thing... I wrote this almost three-four months ago maybe, and holy heck was I shocked at myself. And me being me, I couldn't not share it. ENJOY!

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Sometimes, I sit alone in my room and think...That's it, nothing else. Just Thinking.

When I found my missing piece and lost it once again, I thought I was going to die...I am going to die. Of loneliness. Of heartbreak. Of fear. Of...Beauty.

Beautiful things are the death of me. I love the way blood looks, flowing from a person's wrists. I love the way a rose's thorns, can cut, and prick, and hurt a person, just by a touch. And yet the rose...Is a symbol of love...

Is that what love is? Is love the bringer of pain, and misery...And loss? Love, nobody can really explain it. We call it a feeling, something we direct toward specific people or objects. But is love real? Can we, as humans really obtain something, so powerful, and play it off as a game? Or just a feeling?

Love... is a belief.

 Love is not something a simple organism such as humans can simply obtain. Love is given, it is a gift. Love is a reality, for most. For others, love is a way of life.

For others... Love... brings destruction, and fear...It brings all the concepts of pain, misery and time.

Time... is especially evil.

Time... is another beauty of the world. It is so easily obtainable. But is easily outweighed by others, and can slip through a person's fingers at any given moment. Time... is a killer. Time brings joy to the world, it is a measurement of patience, greed, and drudgery. Time is often used in useless ways, and in other situations, people make the most of the time they have.

I wish to die, so, so bad. But...More than dying.

I want to live.

I want to experience love. I want to be able to feel, all the aspects of the concept we name love. If I were to see love, face to face, I would picture myself. I know I love myself, as much as I hate myself. If I take away, all of the people in my life, every last person, no matter the importance. I get love. I love myself when I am alone. Everything about me. My humor, my body; all parts of it. I love my personality, I love the things I indulge myself in. I love me. But the moment one, only one person, is brought into my mind, I find myself disgusted with everything I am.

I want to experience time. Sure the world is stuck in a constant loop and spiral of time. I want to live my own time. At my own pace, in my own space, and with my own desired company. I hate spending certain amounts of time doing one thing, and another amount of time doing something else. I want to do what I want when I want. It sounds selfish, but If I am not ready for something, I shouldn't be forced into it.

What I need most... Is me... I am my own love... I am my own time... And I am my own life.

AHAHAH AREN'T I JUST LOVELY RIGHT? <3