back to the past • ʲᵒⁿᵍʰʸᵘⁿ

•four•

"Why were you crying earlier?"

Just an hour later, after I calmed down, of course, I sat in the room where I first met Shinee and the staff. In the room with me now was Jonghyun. He looked worried as he sat next to me on the comfortable leather couch that was in the middle of the room. My other coworkers were still in a meeting about a subject I had no clue on while Jonghyun and I sat here talking about my outburst. Maybe there was a way to tell him without telling him?

"Well..." I started off but my words got caught in the back of my throat. I can do this. "I've taken a liking to you."

He looked from his hands in his lap to my face, his brow furrowed in confusion instead of worry. He brought his hand to the back of his neck and scratched, a look of guilt etched on his face. His ears turned red when I moved closer to his side for warmth. It was freezing in this room.

"T-that still doesn't answer my question. Why were y-you crying?" he awkwardly brought his hand down and back into his lap. His ears were still crimson as his gaze fell to mine.

"I don't know," I really didn't know why the hell I was crying. It's November still and a couple of weeks before anything happens to Jonghyun, or that I know of. "I'm just scared is all."

It was the truth after all. I was terrified to lose him again but he didn't get why I was scared to lose him. He raised his eyebrow and with a questionable voice he asked, "and why is that?" Yeah, I got to suck it up and say something.

"Because back where I'm from, I lost somebody I took a liking to long ago. I'm scared it's gonna happen again."

It was true after all. I did lose him long ago where I was from, which is the future, but he doesn't need to know that.

And as I thought about the person in front of me again, I couldn't help but break down again. After all these years, it still hurts like a bitch.

His face had a frown and he leaned closer to my body. The heat radiating off him felt so different compared to the cold air in the room.

"There's no reason to be scared, you know?" His arm draped across my shoulder as he pulled me in his side. "I'm not going anywhere."

And yet he was. Jonghyun was definitely going somewhere and wouldn't be to the future with me.