Broken (Nichorello)

I'm sorry

''do you want me to go in first'' Piper asked putting her hand on the older woman shoulder. Red turned to face Piper it was the first time in the months she had been there Piper had seen Red weak the fierce face she puts up falls the way only Nicky can make it, tears falling from her eyes and the way her voice broke when she responded.

'just check my girls okay I need to know what to expect.' Piper nodded before walking past towards Nicky's room.

''do you remember when you spent ages trying to get in my pants. it was kind of embarrassing for you''

'it was all worth it, one of the best Christmas presents I've had. you were so wet'

''and you are such a creep''

'I aim to please. bet I could do Chapman better then you'

''she shut you down remember''

'she told you'

''of course'' both girls started to laugh when someone cleared their throat.

'Unfortunately for you Nicky you'll never find out who could make me come better I am strictly taken and we are never having a three way'

''you sure could be pretty entertaining'' Nicky grinned like a Cheshire Cat, both girls were just happy to see their lion maned friend smile.

'stop with your kinky fuckery. Alex can I speak to you outside' Piper said her tone turning serious.

''you might as well just say it in here because I know your just going to talk about me'' Nicky said shrugging it off like it was no big deal. Piper grabbed Alex by the hand and dragged her into the corridor closing Nickys door much to Nicky's protesting.

'Piper what are you-'

''Is she alright Alex?'' Alex froze and turned to luck Red directly in the eye before glaring back at Piper.

'You told her' Alex whisper-shouted.

''you know no one can lie to Red she's got like a built in lie detector''

'you told her not to tell me, she's my daughter'

''Red look I'm sorry I just thought the last thing Nicky would want is the whole family there when she woke up she asked me not to tell you or anyone else. Even you must know that Nicky would want that. I'll go back in and tell her your here'' Alex grabbed the door handle before Red stopped her.

'no don't, if she doesn't want me-'

''Deep down she does. she'll be scared of how you'll react because she doesn't want to disappoint you. Nicky told me how you helped her when she suffered withdrawal when she first came in and what you said to her. just give me a minute'' Red nodded and Alex walked back inside. Piper stood awkwardly before turning to Red.

'I don't think you should ask her why she did it you know'

''but I want to know''

'she just needs you there. when I went in her and Alex were laughing we don't need to put her mood down'

''your right''

'it'll be okay, Red, she loves you'

'Hey'

''bout time I know I'm fucked up but you can't have much to bitch about me that you probably haven't done already'' Nicky started chuckling.

'we're all fucked up. thats why we're here. Anyway Red kind of got it out of Piper that your here but really its not Pipers fault I mean she's a terrible liar but Red is impossible to lie to'

''she can't see me like this''

'too bad she's here, I know your happy she's here' Nicky smiled a genuine smile not the smirk that never leaves her face. Alex walked over to the door and left as Red entered. Immediately Nicky looked down in shame hiding the cut on her arm under the cover of the hospital bed. She closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths before lifting her head to face the Russian who's become her mom prepared for the telling off but it never came. Red stared at her daughter before breaking into tears and pulling her into a motherly embrace. she slapped her over the head.

'don't do that again, promise me?'

''I'm sorry Ma you know I ain't good at talking to people''

'sooner or later Lorna will realise your the one she truly loves'

''you know it was about Lorna''

'i'm your mother of course I know'

Red hugged her daughter tight never wanting to let go afraid she'll disappear.

'whats going to happen to you?'

''uhh I dunno Ma maybe send me to psych''

'they are not taking you away from me again because you sure as hell aren't going to try that again you hear me'

''yeah''

Nicky began to cry before once again launching herself at Red.

''I love you Ma''

'I love you too my Nicky'

Nicky was released from medical a week later on close watch she had to have a CO follow her after Red demanded Nicky to not be taken so unfortunately for Nicky she was stuck with Luscheck which he wasn't particularly thrilled about either.

''Hey Nicky where've you been. did you get taken to SHU again?'' Lorna asked as she hugged her upon Nicky's entrance into the cafeteria.

'it doesn't matter' Nicky groaned pushing herself between Alex and Piper and opposite Boo so she wouldn't have to sit next to Lorna.

''you could just say excuse me you know'' Alex smirked and raised her eyebrows.

'yeah but its more fun not to' Alex rolled her eyes before leaning in to whisper a quiet 'I'm glad you ok' only she could hear. Nicky responded in the only way she would.

''Unfortunately for you Vause I am unable to fuck you due to severe pain in my best wrist''

'do you not know how to have a conversation that doesn't involve you fucking someone'

''ehh probably do I just choose not to''

'hey Nicky do you want to come for a walk with me after breakfast' Lorna looked over at Nicky expectingly and hopeful with the eyes Nicky always had trouble saying no to.

''uh sure, where'd you wanna go?''

'its surprise'

When they finished breakfast Nicky and Lorna left the cafeteria without Luscheck who had wondered off at some point not that Nicky cared. Lorna was talking about all the gossip Nicky missed while she was at MAX which Nicky nodded not taking it in which she seemed to be doing most of the time. Instead she took in every single facial feature of the woman she loved but couldn't have from her perfectly arched eyebrows to the sharp contours of her cheeks. she didn't even notice when they entered the chapel and had walked to the stage. Lorna sat with her legs over the sat patting the space next to her for Nicky to sit which she reluctantly obliged.

'what are we doing here?'

''its quiet and I need your help''

'if this has to do with Vinnie I fucking Ain't interested so don't even bother'

''no its not'' Lorna turned to Nicky before placing herself in Nicky's lap cupping her face.

''I really need you to fuck me''

'What about Vinnie?'

''please''

'are you begging me?'

''I'm begging you''

'ok'

Nicky leaned in and kissed Lorna for the first time, they had fucked many times but never kissed that was always too intimate.