Out of my Mind // A Brendon Urie Fanfiction

twenty seven

I call an Uber to get home because I'm way too drunk to drive. I wait outside, goosebumps rising on my arms from the night breeze.

"I had a fun time with you tonight, Brendon." I recognize her shrill voice and hide myself from them by crouching behind a wall.

"Yeah. I mean, yeah it was great." I almost laugh at how nonchalantly he speaks to her.

"So do you wanna head back to my place?" I'm taken off guard. For whatever reason, I wasn't expecting her to be the kind of person who wanted sex on the first date, but I guess I was wrong. I feel uneasy as I wait for his response and I try to tell myself that I don't give a shit about what he does. If he goes back to her place, fine. Whatever.

"I actually have somewhere to be tonight." My chest lowers as I free the breath I was holding in. She giggles, as if he's joking because she's just that irresistible.

"It's like ten at night, where are you going?"

"My parents house." He leaves it at that, and I can almost feel Kylie deflate from here. I know he's lying, though. He said his family lives back in Nevada still. But why would he lie to her? "I can just-"

I hear Brendon grunt and I peek around the wall to get a better look. The view in front of me makes my throat sting like barbed wire is wrapped around it. Of course they'd kiss after a date. It's not like they already haven't, but for some reason, this hurts so much worse.

I'm not completely sure why, but I expect Brendon to pull away. But obviously, he doesn't. Why would he? He doesn't have any obligation to. We aren't exclusive and are in no way dating. Instead, he kisses her back the same way he kisses me. He holds her and runs his hands through her hair and- look away, dumbass.

I fall back, my head hitting the wall behind me. I hold my hand to my mouth as I hiss in pain. Finally, my Uber pulls up and I slowly back away from the wall and quietly make my way to the car. I tell my driver where to drop me off, and suddenly I feel overwhelmed with exhaustion.

The car ride goes by quickly and I hand my money to the driver as I get out of the car. I hug myself while walking up to my building, up the stairs and into my apartment.

I sit on the couch, the heels of my hands pressing into my eyes to hold back a sudden rush of tears. For the first time in forever, I feel homesick. Although things back in New York weren't healthy for me, I can't say this is better anymore. I'm not sure how much longer I can stay here. My parents already found me, so what's the point in hiding?

I pick up my phone and dial an unexpected number. He picks up the phone within the first two rings.

"Hey, Courtney! What's up?"

"Can you come over? You're the only one I can talk to right now and I need help."

"Of course. I'll be there in 5." He hangs up and I contemplate whether or not I'm going to share the entire story with him.

5 minutes passed and sure enough, there's a knock at my door. I spring up from my place on the couch and open it, embracing him before he can step in.

"I've missed you, Connor." He wraps his arms around me as I smile.

"I've missed you too. Now tell me what's wrong." I pull him in and we sit down.

"I got suspended from work." He tilts his head.

"What? Why?" I roll my eyes and sink into the chair.

"Because Emery decided she was going to be a little bitch from now on." He looks taken aback, and I realize that I haven't updated him on that whole situation. Has it really been that long since we've talked like this?