Little brat

3. ''What do you most regret ever doing?''

    Only thirty minutes later, we arrived at a gate that automatically opened upon our arrival. I wondered if the gate was to keep people out or in. It made me immediately feel trapped and I hated it. As we went down the lane, more and more of the house became visible. I'd never seen such a large house as this one. It was white and stretched far to both sides. I wondered how many people lived here. We stopped and before I could take my helmet off, I was embraced in a hug by small arms that I would recognize anywhere. ''Julio, you've grown quite a bit.''
''And still am. I passed Rachel and Simon. I'm almost as big as Mario.''
To prove his point, Julio went to stand next to a slightly bothered Mario. Because of that small gesture, I'd felt some happiness for this place, until Mario spoke again.
''He's not happy, you know.''
''Neither am I." I didn't have to ask to know he was talking about my brother. He's never happy.
Mario walked in and I followed suit. A little further than the entrance hall was a big room that could be best described as a living room but with much more. A lot of the gang members seemed to be there but I could only focus on one person. As I stared, hoping he would turn around, I heard some whispers of others.
''Who's she?''
''God be damned.''
''She's back!''
''He did it.''
''Is that... ?''
''Little brat!'' Mario shouted and I turned away from the room, both disappointed and glad he hadn't turned my way.
Mario signed for me to follow him and after passing a couple of doors, he stopped and knocked.
He waited a while and then the door opened, two guys coming out. One of them ruffled my hair and said, ''Oh, little brat is back!''.
''Missed you too, James.'' I'd forgotten how much I hated the gesture. Paul just ignored me, he never was a big fan of me. I think he saw me more as a liability than useful.
''Be careful, hun. He's in a mood.'' James told me we'd catch up later before he and Paul went away.
I braced myself for some verbal shouting and a very long lecture. But as I walked into his office, I could already tell it wasn't going to be any of that. I almost didn't recognize my brother. His outer appearance was as tidy and clean as always. It was the way he was looking straight ahead of him, no life in his eyes. Only worry. ''What's wrong?'' I asked and sat down on the desk before him, instead of the chair in front of the desk. Mario decided he'd give us some privacy and silently closed the door behind him.
''That's the first thing you ask after being away for over a year?'' Stefan stood up and walked around the desk, stopping in front of the window.
''It feels like yesterday.'' I also moved to the window and stood next to him, pretending for a second we were just regular siblings.
''It hurts, Elena.''
''I know.''
''What now?'' Stefan asked and I wasn't sure if he was asking me or himself.
''I'm not sorry,'' I said. ''I'm sorry that it hurt but I'm not sorry about what I did.''
''I know.''
There was a long silence after that. Everything I'd wanted to say, faded from my mind as I watched Stefan. There was something he worried about, too much. There was something he was keeping from me. And I was afraid of whatever it was because he ought it too dangerous to tell me.

''Mario!'' Stefan shouted and broke the silence. The door opened.
''Yes, Salvatore?'' Mario didn't enter but stood in the doorway.
''See her to her new room.'' And that was all Stefan said. I knew from experience he was now shut off to the rest of the world. So I let Mario guide me through the house, up the stairs and at the end of the hall, into a bedroom. He didn't enter because there was a strict policy on who was allowed in my bedroom.

''As you can see, we brought your old furniture with us. Salvatore wanted to buy you new ones but James thought you'd like to keep these.''
I nodded and ran my fingers over the closet. The wood felt so familiar and yet so strange. I looked around and saw there was only one thing missing.
''Where's my mirror?''
Mario chuckled. ''It didn't survive.''
I raised my eyebrow and wondered who'd smashed it: Stefan or Marcus?
''Go easy on your brother, yeah?'' Mario stood awkwardly in the hall. It was nothing like him to be awkward.
''What do you mean?''
''Just...You know, don't be a little brat.'' And with that, he walked away.
Since he hadn't offered to show me around the rest of the house, I decided I'd give myself a tour.

I walked back out and as I came back into the entrance hall, I paused. I heard laughter coming from the living room and wasn't at all ready to face everyone. So I quickly walked passed it and found to my joy, the kitchen. I searched through the nearest cabinets, hoping I'd find something small to eat when I discovered a box of chocolates, untouched. I picked it up and smiled at the damn thing. These were the chocolates Kyle ate every morning. A tear rolled down my cheek but I quickly wiped it away. Just then, someone entered the kitchen so I turned around just at the moment he stopped walking.

''Marcus...'' I whispered his name, not sure if I was even allowed to use it.
Marcus looks at me, more anger than hurt coming through his eyes and I knew at that moment that there was no chance of him ever forgiving me.  He turned around and walked away. Tears were now richly flowing down my cheeks while I threw the chocolate against the wall. No one was allowed to know I was crying so I ran back up and locked myself into my room until I was able to put my poker face back on. I was not going to let my emotions get the better of me, definitely not in this dangerous world.