artistic experimentation || chaelisa

the truth shall set you free

Lisa looked so peaceful when she was sleeping. Her face was usually so alive, she was made of motion, but for once it was nice to see her rest. Chaeyoung had woken up a little while ago, but she couldn't bring herself to check the clock, or her phone, or to even think about getting out the bed yet. There was nothing she wanted to do more right now then watch the other girl sleep, and yes, she knew that was more than a little bit creepy.

Chaeyoung snuggled deeper into blankets warmed by Lisa's body heat, acutely aware of every place their bodies were touching each other, no matter how light the point of contact was. Lisa had spread out starfish style while she slept, and so their legs were wrapped around each other, and whilst one hand was stretching off the bed into space, but the other was still in Chaeyoung's, just like it had been as they'd fallen asleep. They'd lain in bed together like that for what had felt like forever, though they were both so tired it was more likely minutes, their faces inches apart, speaking in soft whispers about nothing at all. It had felt so safe, and so good, it had felt like coming home after a long trip. Lisa felt like home.

As much as waking up with this girl in her bed felt safe and sleepy and soft and warm and pale gold and right, Chaeyoung was still conflicted. At times like this, it felt like it might be easier to be Lisa's friend. She'd get to be with her, to watch her, to be a part of her world in the way she didn't know she had missed until she dived back in head first.

On the other hand, when Chaeyoung thought back to the moments when Lisa had held her, had squeezed her fingers, had kissed her, it seemed impossible. How was she supposed to be around this girl and not always want to be touching her, to be feeling her skin against hers, that crackle of electricity.

There was no way she could pretend not to feel it forever. Eventually, Lisa would figure it out, God knows it wasn't like she was being subtle, and then everything would be perfect, or everything would be over. Chaeyoung just wished she knew for sure how things would end, wished she could read Lisa's mind and know how she felt. She tried to lay out the facts, tried to approach the project with her head, rather than her heart, which had quickened an alarming amount since she had started thinking about the girl lying across from her.

Lisa liked girls, obviously, but that didn't mean she liked Chaeyoung. She complimented Chaeyoung, but she complimented other girls too. She kissed Chaeyoung, once, and she was always reaching for her, holding her, but it seemed to come so easily, so naturally that Chaeyoung couldn't believe the actions meant the same things to both of them. Lisa did something without thinking that sent Chaeyoung's heart in kaleidoscope spirals. The problem, Chaeyoung realized, was that she had no frame of reference as to what was best friend behaviour and what was girlfriend behaviour. Maybe everything Lisa did, all the flirty jokes and light touches and confusing signals, maybe it was all just part of how girls were meant to interact with each other.

Hanging over all of it though, like an invisible shadow, was Jisoo. Kim Jisoo, God, even her name sounded pretty. Chaeyoung knew, from the terrible reactions she had gotten previously, not to bring her up again, but the curiosity burned inside her. What had happened? What had made Jennie so scared, Lisa so angry, both of them so full of guilt? The longer she thought about it, despite trying to force it from her mind, the worse and worse her theories got.

•••

Lisa's face started to come alive slowly, flickers of expression rippling across her features like a breeze across a lake. After a few moments one eye cracked open and looked at Chaeyoung, still heavy lidded and blinking away sleep.

"Good morning," she said, her voice still low and hoarse from lack of of use.

"Morning sleepy head."

"What time is it?"

Chaeyoung craned her head around to look a her clock. "Nearly ten."

"Don't you have class?"