Dusk

Chapter 1: Dusk

My mom named me Dusk because that's when "she knew", also when I was born. According to my mom, "Dusk" occurs when the geometric center of the Sun is 18° below the horizon in the evening. In that time, it was 5:41pm when I was born, and when those doctors put me in my moms arms. Dad always told me her words were "I understand now." She never really told me what she found out that day when she first held me, and she came to never tell me.

May 15th, it was my 15th birthday. Mom, dad and I were going to celebrate for the weekend. Take a trip to the mountains. I always loved going. Dad and I would go for walks and open up to one another, talk about the things around us, how lucky we are to be part of something so wonderful. Mom typically would join us with lunches. Things always made perfect sense, till that day we left and hit the road to head back home. How is it, that one mistake, one stupid person, one street could just change everything, forever. That moment that drunk driver hit us head on. He turned my world around. He knocked the songs, laughter, memories and color out of every moment. The driver hit us, left the crash with just a broken arm, of course I did too, but dad left with a leg that he no longer has and well for my mom, she didn't die, but she mind as well had. My mom didn't lose or break anything expect for her memories and heart. After her being in a hospital for a week in coma, she finally woke up, it was 1:30pm when she did, but it wasn't her who woke up, it was another person. She didn't remember us, what happened or really her life at all. I remember watching dads face when she looked at him. I could see the light leaving his eyes. He left with my uncle for home, he couldn't look at my mom anymore. It was breaking his heart. I stayed. Even though she didn't know me I didn't want to leave her alone. She would had never done it to me. After that day, the light left from us all. Nothing was the same. I felt like nothing ever would be the same.

It's now been two years till that day. Today is my birthday, I'm turning 17, so it's been two years exactly. Two years of what if's and never memories. Two years of gray, no laughter and confusion. My dad spends his days on the couch, watching tv, drinking, never being sober. Some nights, closer to midnight, I'd walk down stairs to him watching old homemade videos from the times on the mountain. Close ups of my moms face, pictures of me helping her with dinner, and for just those moments, he shows emotions, cries.

It's something I never see him do. For over two years if i'm being quite honest. When my mom was left in the car that day, everything my dad could feel was left there too. He never was the same, never went to go see her, I guess it was too painful. He instead spent his time drunk and if he wasn't beating the fuck out of me, it was one of the chicks he banged that week. Within two years my dad quit work and didn't get a job, lost us our house where we now live in a trailer, and hasn't found a day to not be sober. I guess I kinda lost both parents on that day.

Me? Well if not in school or working, weekend mornings till dusk I would be with my mom and nights I was at parties with my friends getting high and drunk off our asses. There, is where my anger went. The dark lights, the spinning of the world, it all seemed so home like and Safe. I never wanted to leave. That place was packed, my head and the party. With voices of all kinds, feelings of lust and wonder. Each bit of sweat and human touch. It was withholding, more secrets from me, intriguing. See but I never gave up on mom like my father did. There was something beautiful about being in the dark and seeing a shimmer of a light for just a moment. That's what this moment with my mom felt like when I was with her, a flash of light. A moment to remember, to forget, to feel. Just for a moment. I was right, that night this all happened, to think that things would never be the same... because little did that 15 year old boy know, that it would true.

Right now for my birthday, I'm at one of those parties, on one of my acid trips. My feeling was a rush, everything moved so slow around me, the people dancing all on me, the lights were my heart beat, moving to every little second. My breath was being taken from me and re-entered like ice. This is how we were everynight. Expect the night she walked in. Her hair was dark brown and long. She had a couple small braids throughout it with it half up in a bun, a feather sticking out the back. She had on a pair of jean shorts and a long baggy olive green shirt, tucked into them. Bracelets completely covered her arms and long necklaces of so many different symbols, one a gold key were around her neck. She had one tattoo behind her ear, it looked liked it was the sun. She walked into the room and everything around me freezes into ice. My breath got colder, and then it all shadder. There was nothing but light around me. She walked into the room and I was drawn to her. My dark world for just a moment found peace. She was a fresh breath of air. I wanted to know her, and whatever story is being locked away by light in those dark, dark eyes. She's seen things, things no one else has, but she hides it, pretty good. What are you doing here? You're not meant to be in a place like this.