Dusk

Chapter Two: Abelia

I walked into this party on the other side of town with a group of friends from school. Each one of them looked beautiful. A face full of makeup, outfits on that made them stand out above everyone, even me. Here I am plan as ever, in an oversized t-shirt, being noticed by no one. What was I thinking coming to this party with them. I'm not going to have fun. They thought getting me out of the house was what I needed. "You spend to much time inside," "Let us help you, let's get you somewhere fun." I don't need their help. I haven't needed anyones help but my own for years. Everyone here right now is high off of something and my friends have either already had two shots, or have weed in their hand. So we aren't going anywhere anytime soon. They shouted at me to join, with so many people around I didn't stop and think, I just did. I didn't want to seem like the party pooper, mess everyone's night up. So I walked over to where a friend was holding up a joint. "Take a hit, you'll be feeling good in no time." So I listened. I took this joint from my friends hand and took a few hits. After, the few hits turned into shots of fireball, those shots turned into a blunt. By the time an hour and a half hit life around me went a slight bit blurry. I opened up in a way that I never have before. I was dancing around, without a care in the world. Mindlessly.

I'm not sure how my life got to this. Just jumping party to party with friends, allowing myself to fall into temptation. Things just were never the same after I watched my mother kill herself.

Before my dad left her, she was a bright spirit. She use to tell me. "Abelia. When you were born life before hand was good, I won't lie. I was in love with your father deeply and things were like any other normal love story. Then I had you. You were the fresh breath of air we needed. That's where you got your name from. Abelia. It means breath."

If she were to see me now... she'd be so disappointed. That night though, that night I knew I truly lost my mother, I wasn't the breath of air she needed anymore. When my dad left her and moved away, leaving us both, She turned cold. She would had much rather be doped up on whichever drug she found that week then to have asked where I've been or how I am doing. May 15th I think she had enough. The heartbreak never went away, she felt alone all the time, if she wasn't high, she was crying.

I came into the house that day with her in tears, a rope around her neck. She looked at me and whispered: "I'm sorry babygirl," and dropped herself. I screamed running over, trying to cut her loose. Telling her she doesn't have to go, I can help her, we can get help, but it was too late. There was no second chance. When we had the funeral I was a 15 year old girl putting her own mother in the ground, when my dad showed up, I hadn't seen him in 10 years. He spent that time hiding from us, didn't send birthday cards, never came home. Seeing him made me angry. In the middle of the funeral I stood up and looked at him asking what he was doing here. He responded " baby girl, we can talk after okay?" I screamed in front of everyone. I told him he wasn't aloud to call me that, he wasn't aloud to be in a place where he wasn't wanted. He had left us never to return and I wanted him to leave, but before he could, I looked around the room. Everyone was staring at me, some growing tears in their eyes, some with their hands over their mouths. My Aunt Lily had her hand on mine. I begin to tear up. After that I ran out of the room and waited for it all to be over.

Once everyone left, I went in and placed my sunflower before they took her to be buried. When I finished, my dad walked in with my Aunt Lily, he wanted me to come live with him, but I couldn't even look at him, the only words to ever come out of my mouth was "I never want to see you again." He walked out without a word and never showed his face.

After that night I was sent to live with my Aunt Lily, who doesn't care what I do as long as I go to school and don't get in trouble. She doesn't believe in pulling the chains too hard, she feels that I need to be free in order to find what I've lost. I never understood what she meant by that, I feel like I didn't lose anything. Yet it allows me to get out when my friends want me to. That's how I ended up here tonight.

Two years exactly today I lost my mother. This is my friends way of trying to get me out to not think. But I can't stop thinking. I can feel the people around me and all of their weight. I felt as though the more I walked the less I actually moved, I needed to get air so I left the party and walked outside to a chair near the door. I took in deep breaths, as though the party was keeping me from breathing. The air felt like cool rain drops on my checks and I could feel as though ice was forming all around me. Then a small voice, that I thought I was dreaming of asked if I wanted water. When I looked up there was a girl standing in front of me holding water. "Maybe I'll give you a hit of this blunt after if you want." I looked up and took the water as she sat down next to me. She took a couple hits of her blunt then handed it to me. "Ya know, you end up places you don't want to be and it ends up changing your life." I laughed at the thought of how much that made sense. "I mean that in a good way. I'm assuming you didn't want to come to this party? Your spending your time out here and there is something waiting for you in the moment." A good way? How does ending up somewhere, that you didn't want to be, with friends who are somewhere lost out of their mind, when you could be at home in bed, end up being a good thing?

"In the period of time that you have been here, a door has already opened itself to you, one with a new road in, one with new people, people who understand, one with new memories, maybe with more light." She stops for a moment takes a breath in and sighs out heavy. "I can see your sadness. I understand it. Things will turn back around for you, just give it time." She got up to begin to leave the party. I could feel my head getting lighter. The idea to get up and go after her hit me and I didn't hesitate to wait. "Hey, you never told me your name." She smiled at me. I never stopped to notice while she talked how beautiful she was. She was tan, with hair just like mine, but so curly and beautiful. Looking at her made me envy for the idea of beauty. I wanted some of it. "My name is Skye. You'll see me around soon."

Just like that she left. I just wanted her to explain what she meant, because I didn't understand it, but I really wanted to. My life has been a mess and I want change, and that sounded like change. As I began to walk back into the house, my movement was slow. I could see my breath as I walked around. I could see everyone, but I wasn't looking at them. I was seeing ideas in front of me and voices. Things began to get heavy, and the more I walked the louder it got, the heavier things became. I wanted to scream. I just want a break to be happy like these people. Within that moment I tripped and was caught. The moment I felt his hands everything popped and the world grew quite. Does that sound too romantic? Well to be clear, I'm not sure what the feeling really was, but it was almost like calming and a rush when he caught. Do you know the feeling you get in the evening, when everything is done for the day, and you can sit and relax as it gets dark. That's what he felt like. A moment of peace. His eyes were refreshing. They were dark, but inviting. He dressed the bad boy type, everything he was wearing was black expect his shirt and his hair jet black and pulled into a bun.

He was beautiful and he was holding a plain girl like me.

He wouldn't stop staring though. As he lifted me back up he grew a bit of a smile, but then cover it with a stone cold face.

"Hey, in a party like this you should probably watch where you are going. Don't want to trip into anyone weird." I couldn't say anything.

The tips of his fingers were still touching mine and when he looked at me, he only looked at me. Direct eye contact gives me the chills.

"I'm Dusk." He holds his hand out to me to shake it but I'm frozen. Just for a moment, and find myself again. "Abelia"

"So Abelia, you look hungry. You want to get out of here."

Just like that, I left with him.