Saudade

Nine. Just Appease and Please

My eyes snapped awake as they did every morning when that incessant alarm began ringing. I groaned and tapped the phone that lay beside me on my pillow. I closed my eyes for a moment, relishing in the silence and warmth of my bedsheets.

I was just about to drift off again when my phone began ringing, this time the tone indicating I had a phone call. I swiped across the screen without reading caller ID. A big mistake on my part.

"Hello?" I asked, my throat still thickly coated with sleep.

"Briella, what the hell? I've been calling you all night."

The sound Derrick's angry voice was like approximately six shots of caffeine. My eyes snapped open and suddenly I was wide awake.

After hooking up with his roommate I left Derrick's dorm in a rush. When I got back to my room I silenced my phone, knocked back a serving of NyQuil (even though I promised Aidan I would stop doing that), and fell into a peaceful, dreamless sleep.

Oh, how fast peace wanes.

"Uh," I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to think. "Derrick, I can't talk right now."

"Briella-"

"I'm about to hop in the shower. I'll talk to you later though. Love you, bye!" And with that sentiment I ended the call.

I threw back the sheets and climbed out of the bed. My arms went up in a wide stretch as my mouth parted in wide yawn.

After hooking up with Derrick's roommate (what was his name? Mike?) I promptly left the dorm and made my way back to my building. The anger that had settled heavy in my chest due to my boyfriend's antics hadn't relented throughout the rest of the night. Sure, there was the brief moment when I was hooking up with Mike that I was focused on something else, but after that I still felt it's presence. If anything the walk to my dorm, and the time I had to myself and my thoughts made the anger even heavier.

When I got back to my room I shut off my phone to avoid the hailstorm of calls I was about to get, turned on my computer, and watched some stupid romantic comedy on Netflix before I finally passed out.

As I got ready for the day the contentment I had felt ever so briefly when I woke up was fading quickly. I didn't feel anger anymore, but there was definitely a stinging annoyance that lingered around my aura.

Derrick was such an asshole sometimes. Why was it that whenever I was having a good time with anybody who wasn't him he just had to insert himself into the equation by other picking an argument, or sweeping me away altogether? Now, there was a fair share of reasons as to why I never had a lot of friends, most of those reason fell on me solely, but Derrick definitely never helped matters.

Whatever. This was college. I was not going to allow him to stop me from making friends because he was insecure and paranoid.

Then again, was it really insecurity and paranoia when there was a fairly good reason why he obviously did not trust me to be around other people? Particularly when they were of the other sex?

I sighed and sat down on my bed. I pulled my wet hair up in a bun, so it wouldn't continue to get my the front of the dress I was wearing wet and pulled on a pair of brown sandals. When I finished strapping my shoes on I went over to the mirror to study my face.

It was clear for the most part, but I could tell from the slight pain I felt when I rubbed my nose a pimple was about to pop up. I undid my bun to dry my hair, but my eyes fell on the digital clock and I realized I had little to no time to do that.