Irish You Loved Me [Niall Horan]

But I'm No Good For You

                It’s been two months since the concert in New York, which was when I first accepted my job as a ‘spy’ on One Direction.

                Let me see how quickly I can fill you in on all the things that have happened. First of all, I should probably point out that Sienna is still traveling with us, even though the rest of the band has grown to hate her as well. Her and Harry are still going strong, and it seems like despite all the advice to break up with her, Harry is still clinging to her- for whatever reason.

                Also, the boys’ tour is slowly coming to a close. There are only three concerts left. At the moment, we’re all in San Diego, enjoying some time we have off. There’s three days until the next show, so we decided to fly over to the beautiful golden coast and get some relaxation.

                I have been writing up my article- one entry per week, and sending them to Tricia, who is formatting them into magazine sections that will be released as soon as the tour is over. If we released them during the tour, the boys’ would send me home since they would know I’ve been spying.

                What else has happened? Niall and I have grown closer- but we’re only friends, and that’s all we will probably ever be. I can’t afford to have a relationship with someone that I’m practically betraying behind his back- I don’t want feelings to get in the way of my article.

                One last thing has happened… I can’t seem to remember, though. Oh yeah!

                Sienna is pregnant.

                You heard me correctly. Sienna the slut is pregnant with Harry Styles’ child. Apparently she’s a month or so into it, I haven’t really been paying much attention. The bitch is still skinnier than me even when she’s pregnant… But I’m patiently waiting for her stomach to inflate like a balloon just to watch her freak out over being ‘fat.’

                After she came home with the pregnancy test, everyone was kind of in shock. No one was angry, but there was clearly disappointment in the faces of all the other boys. Harry, on the other hand, wasn’t too thrilled either. He did the whole ‘but we used protection’ speech and the entire ‘are you sure it’s mine?’ Then he realized I was enjoying this way too much and he quickly changed his tactic, saying he would ‘love and accept it forever.’

                I’m traveling with a group of morons.

                I’ve told Hannah about the whole spying thing, and at first, she didn’t like the idea. I made her promise not to tell the boys, but it was obvious that she didn’t like it at all. Although, as soon as she found out about Sienna, she changed her mind and decided that maybe it wasn’t the worst thing in the world. I might be crazy, but I think she might hate Sienna more than I do.

                I haven’t told Dalia yet, she’s too close to Louis. Those two are practically brother and sister now. They tell each other everything, get in fights almost daily, and then go out for ice cream like a minute after and come home like two little toddlers- happily and merrily. I’m happy they’re such good friends- Louis is nice.